I watched the Beyonce Life is But a Dream documentary over the weekend as well as her interview with Oprah, and while I had not learnt anything new about Beyonce there were a few take aways for me as a womyn and as an artist. What stood out to me the most was during the interview at the end when Ms. O said to Beyonce, "After watching Life is But a Dream, I have to tell you that I come away reminded of that line in a Maya Angelou poem that says, 'You make me proud to spell my name W-O-M-A-N." Such a big compliment to pay a womyn! And, one that we all need to look ourselves in the mirror and say on repeat.
As I turn 40 today, I realize that with age I've fallen into being exactly the womyn that I've always wanted to be. My life is not perfect, but I can say it's pretty damn good! And, it's good because I've finally learned to let go of the inner struggles, things I don't accept about myself and to be really specific about the people I have around me. Instead of playing tug-of-war with these things I've given up the battle and chose acceptance of where I am exactly today.
I wrote a quick note on my Facebook page the other day outlining the '40 things I know about myself as I turn 40'. A few of them are:
- I will never have a flat stomach or a six pack and I'm going to try my best to let go of that dream....
- I love vanilla cupcakes and I can eat them all day and this maybe the reason why i don't have a flat stomach!
- Friends and family will often disappoint you, but I need to stop taking their lack of action or actions personally it's not about me.
- I will continue to disappoint friends and family, and they need to stop taking it personally.
- I want to have friends who listen more to me, who call me often and ask me how I'm doing? I want friends who share with me their lives, people who openly share their life lessons and encourage me to be a better person.
- I want to actively work on my dreams every day. I want my play to go to Broadway. I want my own theatre, talk show, radio show! I want full creative ownership to do work that I love the way I want too!
- I need to accept that my to do list will never end. I create a new one every day!
- I want to love who i love, with no explanations to anyone. Without thought to anyone but myself. I want to love how I want to be loved, with gentleness, consideration, soft kisses, deep conversations, and an ability to be challenged and to be challenged to be better. I want to care less about what people think about me, and care more about what I think of the people in my life!
I think this is what Lady O meant when she spoke about Beyonce and I believe that one day I will be sitting on her couch when she will share that sentiment with me as well.
But for now, I'm 40 and happy to stand with pride to spell my name w-o-m-y-n.