Monday, February 28

I’m forever seeking the sun...

I’m forever seeking the sun.

On February 18th I celebrated my birthday. Birthdays for me are a time of reflection… a time to really examine where I've been and where I want to go.

It seems as if I’m constantly changing. Changes that continue to surprise not only others, but also myself! I now really embrace my alone time. I now deliberately seek intimacy. I no longer need a crowd of people occupying all the spaces in my life in order for me to feel loved and popular. I love my small group of friends. I now clearly know the difference between acquaintances, “friends” on f/book and my real friends. I find I have less time and tolerance for what I view as other people's stuff and "nonsense". I’m finding it easier to disappoint others in order to be true to myself.

My biggest accomplishment is that I’ve finally created a home that is truly mine. One that feels stable, peaceful and lived in. I’ve had many homes, but never really “lived” in them. Lived on the edge and on edge in many spaces. Lived in chaos for most of my life. Now, I’m in love with my home. I love the light spilling from my dining room windows. I love curling up on my living room couch with a good book. Cooking simple meals in my kitchen.

I miss my home when I'm away from it. Long for its peacefulness, quiet, trees and walking trails. I’m a country girl who was trapped inside a city girl’s body! Finally I’m free! I love to be around nature. I'm forever seeking the sun…

I enjoy the work that I do. I have to do work that I feel proud of. I must work with people who I trust and respect.

I now guard my privacy more. Learned from Oprah, Beyonce and Jay Z that my private life is my private life. I am a public person, but not ALL things need to be public. My privacy is non-negotiable.

I have become more selfish with my time and how I choose to spend it. I do not have to be at every event, every family gathering. I no longer need to be everywhere that people think I need to be.

I am trying to be more expressive with my feelings. I tell close ones that I love them. Try to be ok with people loving me and holding me.

I am trying to function from a place of forgiveness rather than judgment, thus it has been easier to forgive my family and others who have hurt me. As a result, it is becoming easier to forgive myself.

I have more faith in God, therefore more faith in myself.

I like the womyn that I am becoming…. I like who I am on most days J

I “enjoy the company that I keep in the quiet moments…"

Every day I am changing, growing, learning and loving. I am committed to working on myself. As I continue to ask myself what type of womyn do I want to be...

I’m currently developing a creed for my life, somewhat of a ten commandments for myself. A guide map to how I want to live. This is a work in progress. I will share it with you once I have figured it all out.

If you were to develop a creed for your own life….what would it be? What would be on your list? What would be your top ten? Will share mine very soon !