Tuesday, November 10

something to think about

I've been in L.a now nearly a week. I love L.a! The weather, the people~ who I am in L.a. I think I'm much more hopeful when I'm in L.a. I dream bigger. Laugh louder. Love deeper. I'm kinder to myself, carefree, joyous, open. I give myself permission to have delicious lunches, long conversations, I have writing days with my friends. They come over and we spend most of the day chatting but we also write and read each others work. I love this! I've heard so many deep and personal stories. I love listening to them, learning more about my friends. I eat tacos. I sit in my p.j's outside every morning. I watch countless episodes of 20/20 on line. I talk to my mother. Indulge endless long conversations from my grandmother. I laugh at myself. Laugh at my family. Laugh at life. I think. I really think. I try to listen to my heart~ I sit outside and I write. Have way too many chai lattes. I listen to the birds, I listen.... really listen to myself. I think some more.... I read. I indulge me. I wake up every morning feeling blessed.

My Toronto friends laugh that I choose L.a for my "get a way." They think I will get caught up in the L.a industry game but I don't. I take meetings of course! I pitch, I meet and I meet and I meet..... La people love to have meetings! I've taken four meetings in the last five days!
But I now have such a clear sense of myself and my worth that I don't go into these meetings desperate for approval, desperate to be chosen. I go into these meetings aware that I am special, I have something to offer and if i am not picked or chosen I have chosen myself..... will choose to choose myself.
How times have changed... for many years I did not choose myself. Wanted others to pick me. Tell me that I was worthy, lovable and enough.... did so many desperate and unhealthy things in order to make people love me. Make them pick me please....
So I'm thankful that I'm now in L.a at this time in my life. I sometimes wonder if I had chosen to come to L.a when I was in my early twenties what would that have looked liked for me, because I would have been so desperate. Taken anything. Choose to be what this industry told me I needed to be. Now I can politely say no thank you, walk away...Know that they are not personally rejecting me but they are not ready to see the vision~the trey vision. The higher vision of myself and what I am choosing to offer the world. So everything happens in due time. My time is now and I'm thankful truly thankful for having this time.
So last week's our lesson was to listen more... how did that go for you? Let me know. I love getting your comments and feedback.
Our lesson this week~Do you love and approve of yourself? Think....do you truly like who you are, would you pick yourself? ummm.... a scary one. Let me know.
take care.

t

3 comments:

sean.t said...

Hi Trey- I have sent you a very important email to

k-----.treyanythonyproductions@gmail.com

I am purposely masking the email in case you don't want it published all over your blog. If this is not your personal email address please have it forwarded to you.

I hope you find the contents pleasing and I eagerly await a response!

Regards,

Sean T.

P.S.
My email is sean.t@sympatico.ca in case that email didn't reach you, you can just send me a quick message and I'll have it resent to you.

Honey Bee said...

trey, this is such a powerful post. As an actor/singer, I know EXACTLY what you mean about getting over and out of that desperation mentality. It's like a snakeskin that you have to shed before coming into your own.

And all that desperation does is put a stranglehold on our blessings. Desperation is fear - fear of not being picked, worthy or loved, just as you said. And FEAR is not of GOD... like oil and water, they don't mix! :-)

I'm so so very inspired by your fearlessness trey, catch every blessing!

~Lisa Michelle

truthaccordingtotrey said...

Thanks girl. Thank you for your feedback.