My back aches.... really hurts. I suffer from extreme back ache. Usually my back flares up when I'm under extreme stress. I also know that when I feel unsupported my back usually seizes in a huge big knot. It's how the emotional plays out in the physical. And for myself I know there is a huge connection. I also know my back ache is related to dealing with major stress in the last few days. And I can clearly pinpoint who these stress factors are. Lately I have been dealing with two individuals who for lack of a better words are Assholes! I don't use that word lightly and believe me I have racked my writer's brain to come up with a more descriptive and better word for them, but it comes down to simply they are ASSHOLES! So sorry it may not be the positivity that you were looking for from me while drinking your morning coffee and singing your daily affirmations!
And in my interactions with these two individuals on each occasions I have prayed, I have meditated, I have affirmed. I have tried being nice, then super sweet and Miss cherry bowl of positivity, then I switched to be firm. And now I can barely bring myself to grunt their names and the sight of an email from them in my inbox turns my stomach and my back seizes up.
I also realize for myself I cannot give them so much power to have such a physical and emotional effect for me. So I have been working on this but it's hard. Also I am a firm believer that what is happening in your life you attracted, so I have to really look and see what has made me attract these ASSHOLES in my life! So I've become reflective and I say to myself calmly, "trey why do you have two ASSHOLES in your life!"
I look back and the lessons I have learned and I share them with you all:
1. To avoid "misunderstanding" in any business interaction get it clearly written down on paper. Never ever rely on the fact that you believe that people are decent and will just do the right thing. Never rely on the fact that they will do XY and Z, because they said it, it will be done..... That is not the case. As a young black women doing business I have clearly seen how people will take advantage of you, be dismissive, and not do the "right" thing. So the lesson learned from this is get it written down. Have a clear and precise contract before moving ahead with anything. Be firm on this and don't allow people to give you the run around on having a contract because a clear contract will alleviate all misunderstandings. It's a huge lesson for me and a mistake I will never ever repeat again.
2. When someone shows you who they are believe them. I think Maya Angelou said this and it is so true. Never believe you are the exception to the rule. And always analyze how someone treats people who they deem as beneath them. If someone is dismissive or just plain rude to service staff such as waiters or their employees they will eventually do the same to you. In reflection of what has happened to me I remember my first interaction with one of these ASSHOLES. He was very nice to me. Too nice but when we went out to our first meeting he was very rude to our waiter. I made excuses for him in my head, instead of just seeing him for who he really was, an arrogant ASSHOLE!
And on further reflection with my interaction with ASSHOLE number two, I remember receiving a call from two individuals who told me he treated his staff horribly and that he wasn't a nice person and had ripped off a few people in the industry. Red flag maybe??? Yet I argued back, well he was very NICE to me and who hasn't been the "Victim" of people saying nasty things about you that aren't true! So i chose to give ASSHOLE number two the benefit of the doubt.
Yes, I chose to ignore these flags because they just treated ME so nice...... and also because I'm a true believer that everyone can change--- right?
So I will take full ownership for the ASSHOLE behavior in my life. The universe has sent me a clear message and it is a lesson learned. I will try to forgive myself for the "mistakes" that I have made and they will no longer be "mistakes" if I learned something from it.
The lesson Learned.... ASSHOLES can disguise themselves as NICE, but eventually they just are ASSHOLES! Ok, I'll end on positivity..... um...um... this is hard! Ok. Secrets opens Sept 23 buy your ticket! lol