MONDAY MOTIVATION: Dear Gabby Douglas, Waiting for Your Father's Apology Will Not Heal Your Hurt

Guest Blog By: Safia Bartholomew

Gabby Douglas won the hearts and respect of the world this past summer when she made history as an Olympic gold medalist for the American gymnastics team. But, an unfortunate story that was also discussed throughout this time (besides the ridiculous criticism of her hair) was of her absentee father. This is of course a story that many little girls and women around the world can relate to. 

She recently revealed to People magazine that although her father wasn't present in her life, he did attend the Olymipc games to cheer her on. But, it was a text message from him after the games requesting for her to "autograph some things for me" that broke her heart. She reveals that she now wants an apology from him. I sincerely hope that her father does apologize for the hurt that he caused her. But, the unfortunate case is that in most cases she won't get it. There are plenty of grown women today that are still waiting on apologies from their daddies. There are so many more people in general that are anticipating the day that the person who did them wrong will finally apologize and accept responsibility. They too are still waiting.

See the thing is,  I think we have all been set up since our kindergarten days to believe that once someone hurts us they will automatically apologize. Remember when Johnny kicked you in the playground and your teacher would come running over demanding that Johnny apologize. He would say sorry begrudgingly but his apology would give you instant satisfaction and you could carry on about your day. As we grow up, we come to realize that life without a moderator to demand apologies for us means that the apologies come far and few between. So what do we do now? How can we move on when the person we care about/ once cared about is still out there seemingly not acknowledging the pain they caused.

One of the hardest things to do is to let go and forgive the people that hurt you the most. You replay their wrongdoings over and over in your head like a clip out of a bad movie. These people have claimed space in your heart and mind, holding you hostage from truly being free and as happy as you deserve to be. I've had friends in my life that I've allowed to take up space in my mind, as I sit waiting for them to make it right. But, Oprah said something awhile back that really stood out to me and I try to remember everytime those terrible movie clips decide to hit replay again. She described the story of an ex-friend who she harbored much hurt and anger towards for many years. Basically, one day she was out shopping and she saw that very person laughing outside of a Tiffany store having a good time. She was in shock and could not believe how happy that person was. I love this story! Doesn't that illustrate exactly how it feels to be so affected by someone who has clearly moved on and is living and enjoying their life meanwhile you are stuck in rewind?

This isn't to say that Gabby just needs to simply move on. But, she does need to forgive her father and accept that he is going to be the way he is until he decides to change. Who knows when he will finally wake up and decide to be a father. In the meantime, she needs to find peace with it and enjoy this incredible journey that she is on whole-heartedly.

As some motivation for this week, if you are dealing with the wrongdoings of others still haunting you let the following words from Maya Angelou soak in as you set yourself up to clear some emotional space for 2013.

In the sweet shadow of Thanksgiving I am giving forgiveness to everyone I thought ill treated me. I want to enter the Christmas month with a clean slate. I want to think that everyone I know can enter the last month of this year free of any ill will between us. Let us all go into December 2012 free, giving and expecting the good thing.

 I'm ready to start December off with a clean slate.Who's up to join me? Let me know your thoughts on the Gabby Douglas situation. Also, what are you going to do to start this last month of the year to let go of any resentments towards others. Meet me in the comment section to discuss.

 HAPPY MONDAY!!

Jamaica: Land We Love

As I watched part of the Olympic closing ceremonies yesterday, I thought about how amazing this time is for Jamaica.  As a nation, Jamaica is celebrating so much right now and I think that the timing couldn't be better.  This year we celebrated 50 years of independence and during that celebration, we also got to celebrate with 12 Olympic medals.

Usain Bolt set new records for the Men's 100m.
The green, black and gold dominate the Men's 200m (Gold: Bolt, Silver: Blake and Bronze: Weir)
New Olympic and World records were set for the Men's 4 x 100m Relay by the Jamaican Dream Team
Shelly-Ann Fraser-Pryce took home Gold for the Womyn's 100m and Silver for the Women's 200m
Veronica Campbell-Brown won Bronze for the Womyn's 100m
The womyn also won Silver and Bronze for the 4x100m and 4x400m respectively

I think right now it's safe to say that Jamaica is the fastest nation in the WORLD!  Period!


Too often, Jamaica gets caught up in the rum, guns, drugs and reggae image that the goodness of the land can be forgotten. (Not by Jamaicans, but by outsiders.) It was so nice to see my timeline filled with profile pictures and statuses that reflected Jamaica in some way.  And mi neva see so much patois pon Facebook in mi life. lol.

As a little Black Girl from the land of Jamaica, it made me swell with pride to see that much positive, beautiful news about my island in the media.  One little island with such a huge impact on the entire world!

And as the dust settles as the celebrations come to a close I wonder:  What does Jamaica mean to you?

Gabby Douglas Gets Criticized For Her Hair?

Gabby Douglas.

I can't believe that instead of celebrating the fact that we have a wonderful role model who is inspiring millions of little Black Girls around the world some people have the audacity of criticizing her on her hair?

Let's not talk about the flawless routines that earned her Gold medals at the age of 16.

Let's not talk about how she worked through the blood, sweat and tears to reach a point of excellence.

Let's not talk about the sacrifices she's made, leaving home to live with a host family at the tender age of 14 just to train for a moment such as this!  She saw her her mother 4 times in 2 years.

Let's not talk about how she is the first American gymnast ever to win both the team and individual all-around gold at the same Olympics.

Let's not talk about how she has become the first African American woman to win the gold medal in the all-around gymnastics competition.

Let's not talk about how she has 90 million dollars in endorsement to date.  Setting her future up for incredible success (if managed properly of course)

Let's talk about her hair?

SERIOUSLY?!

Maybe her hairstyle isn't appropriate for twerking on the streets, but it's functional. It looks just like every other competitor out there, gelled back with clips in a ponytail.  Could you imagine her hair with a huge weave trying to see through it as she flies between the uneven bars? Or better yet, falling off as she leaps on the balance beam?

It just goes to show that you will never please everyone.

I saw a quote once that said: "You can be the biggest, juiciest, ripest peach in the entire world and there will still be someone who doesn't like peaches."

So go ahead Little Black Girl.  Whip your 90 million dollar hair, Gabby!  You deserve the successes you worked so hard for!