As a parent of five little kids, other
parents often say to me, “I don’t know how you do it.” First, could someone please tell me the
appropriate way to respond to this comment.
I know “on psychiatric drugs,” is not the best response so I usually
say, ““Ohhh, come on. I do it the same
way you do. Kids have a remarkable way
of taking up any physical and psychic space available, so we’re all swimming
upstream totally exhausted and blessed.” While my closest friends and family
have heard a slightly more honest response to this comment, this is verbatim
what I say to people. Until now.
What is the point of having a unique, large
family, if I cannot share the wisdom borne of my experiences as a parent? And so I will share some of the ways that I
“do it”:
I was never a girl scout, but I am a firm
believer in the adage “Always be prepared.”
The lengths that we go to, to prepare for one day of our life is quite
something. During the school/work week
we do everything the night before. We
make lunches and coffee and our smoothies.
I know, this is nothing special. We
also pour everyone’s cereal including a smaller bowl which holds “seconds”
should anyone require them. If I’m
feeling especially panicky about the morning to come, I will place each child’s
bowl at the their spot at the table along with a spoon. Back when Z rode in the bike trailer to get
to school in the winter, I would hang his snow pants on the back of his chair
so that he could put them on before sitting down to breakfast. He didn’t like this. I think he may have cried once. Wife told me it was excessive, but time is
everything and there is no time to waste in the morning. Besides this was nothing compared to my
mother’s response to me being a slow mover.
When I was in kindergarten, in an effort to improve the speed at which I
dressed for the outdoors, my mother borrowed a stop watch from the gym teacher and
spent a weekend doing snowsuit dressing drills.
Now that is excessive!
In addition to the preparation of the
children’s breakfasts, we also lay out all of their outdoor clothes (jacket,
hat, mitts, scarf) on the living room floor, which we now refer to as the
staging area. Z just throws his jacket and stuff on the floor as soon as he
comes in the house, in an effort to “help” with the night time set-up. Unfortunately, because I’m crazy, I insist
that the children hang up their belongings with their hats etc. in their coat sleeves
so that I can have the satisfaction of removing everything from their hooks and
laying it out on the floor myself after they go to bed. Inefficiency at its best.
Certain that we were not prepared enough
for the morning, I recently made another modification to our night time routine. On the odd occasion, over the past few years,
we have put the kids to bed in their “tomorrow clothes”. It was fun and cute and always because
something special was going to take place the next morning. It occurred to me that “tomorrow clothes”
don’t have to be just for special occasions, they can be the norm. From Sunday to Thursday, our children now go
to sleep in their “tomorrow clothes”. Of
course there are always the minute details of a plan that need to be worked
out. You see our children bathe and get
ready for bed before supper. Before you
start thinking that eating in our house totally hinges on being prepared for
the activity following the meal or that meals are rewards for completing
undesirable tasks like bathing and getting ready for bed or school, let me
explain the very good reason why bed prep is done before dinner.
Our kids love bath time and get
unbelievably excited about all being naked together. It occurred to us that putting the kids to
sleep would be easier if they didn’t have to come down from the high of bath
time, so we moved it to earlier in the evening.
Once we decided to get rid of pajamas, the kids simply put on their
“tomorrow clothes” after bath. BUT nobody
wants to go to school in “tomorrow clothes” with stains from last night’s
dinner, so I decided that the kids would wear their “tomorrow bottoms” and a
bathrobe to dinner. We call them dinner
jackets.
After supper we go upstairs, brush teeth,
put on “tomorrow shirts” and hunker down for bedtime stories. Obviously the Littles want in on this
“tomorrow clothes” business but they still wear diapers at night so they need
to be changed in the morning anyway. No
problem. We put on a diaper with “tomorrow underwear” on top so in the morning
F & L can pull down their pants, half way, pull off their diaper and pull
up their dry “tomorrow (now today) underwear”!
Bam!
And that, my friends, is how it is
done! It’s true about all parents
swimming upstream, but some of us have a larger school of fish to lead so we
need some, outside of the box, strategies.
There are more, equally amusing, ways that we “do it”, but I don’t want
to overwhelm you. How do YOU “do
it”? Let me know in the comments.
XO Ajike
5 comments:
My response to “I don’t know how you do it.” is much shorter and a lot less awesome than yours:
"I don't know either, and I'm living it."
Of course, I only have two littles to corral/herd/feed/water/clean, but you're right...it's definitely swimming upstream!
I have one little one.... And I still don't know how you 'do it'. I find myself getting short tempered with him sometimes and then I feel so guilty afterwards. He's the sweetest little guy a Mom could ask for but he's chronically disorganized. He has Aspergers and he has issues with 'executive functioning' so it's pretty hard. We homeschool I do the core subjects with him but he goes out to different classes and programs throughout the week and we take the bus so I end up stressed all the time over getting enough done and with being late.
I think your mom might have been onto something with the snowsuit drills... It's been six years and I still don't think to factor in 10 minutes of "winter dressing time"!
Lol! Love it! Btw, no comment on making them hook it, only so you unhook it. I think Z got it right there!
Sorry, also - LOVE the dinner jackets! So cute!!
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