Thursday, October 8

You better look busy-God is coming!

The closing of a show is similar to the ending of a relationship. You remember the good times and the bad. You think I would do it all over again maybe? Maybe differently...... You think about what's next? Where do I go from here? And some days you feel weepy, relieved, sad, and moments of happiness that it's all over!
I want to thank everyone for all their support and love. This couldn't have happened without you.
Yet, the closing of Secrets marks a huge turning point in my life. It is a completion of a goal. A few years ago, I had read somewhere that people who write down their goals have 80% chance of achieving them, then people who don't. Since then I have been writing down my goals and conducting a mental review of them in my head...so I thought. Yesterday on the train, on my way into work, I looked back on my journal of goals that I had written for myself. Goals which I wanted to achieve for 2009. It was quite shocking. I had not reviewed my goals since writing them down January 1, 2009. Surprisingly, many of my business goals I had met and surpassed. Yet, nearly all of my personal goals I had not even started. I had written down that I would like to go to the movies once per month with my partner. That has not happened. I said I would call my father once per month that has not happened. I said I would visit my family more and spend more quality time with my friends and that has not happened. Well that kinda somewhat happened.... my family came over for the opening of Secrets and I was so grateful to have that time to spend with my mom and my sister. I think it brought us closer as a family and I was so grateful to have my mom's support and help during Secrets.
And my favourite person in the world came over, cousin Sheron, all the way from England. She spent ten days! Ten days of laughter, jokes, eating English biscuits and chocolate and I would not trade that time for anything else in the world. Yet I realized that before this visit I had not spoken to my cousin in nearly two years! Not good enough!
And now I'm here. Secrets has closed and I'm feeling proud but really burnt out. Really tired. And I realize once again I have not created balance in my life. Business has taken over. I have not nurtured myself, or my personal relationships!
People keep asking me, so trey what's next? I feel myself caving into the pressure. Feeling that I need to "look" busy again. And yet my body is aching, my back is screaming and I'm tired. So for the next two months in order to fulfill my personal 2009 goals I'm going to actively work on them! Thus, I'm going to work a short work week. I'm going to go into the office three days per week and the other two days I'm going to work on my personal goals. I'm going to go and visit my sister. I'm going to take my partner to the movies. I'm going to call my cousin. Make peace with my Dad and just take some time for myself and those that I love.....
So folks that's what's next---I'm going to really LIVE!

2 comments:

Mena Gagne - DARE TO BE REAL said...

Way to take stock, girl! I love how you keep it real. And I hear ya - I've been contemplating on how to balance the DOING with the BEING, knowing my worth is not solely attached to what I do/accomplish. Enjoy nurturing and lovin you (and those you love) - and have fun living & being!

Len D. said...

All good and in time dear Trey. You are truly an amazing light, so talented and right on purpose. KUDOS to you on your journey thus far and both you and Darren on 'Secrets' - important and poignant. Rest UP, Power UP, then let go and let God. So many more people have yet to lavish in your beautiful bounty. Peace. Love and Joy / Len D H