Friday, October 16

if you don't hear you will feel! National LISTENING WEEKS Oct 15th-29th!

I think every black child knows the saying, "If you don't hear you will feel!" Our parents usually muttered this saying before quickly reaching for the belt! Basically their thoughts were if you don't listen then you will get a beating!
And now as an adult when i don't listen i still get a beating--- an emotional beating.....
This week has been a week of emotional cleansing and personal work. In depth personal conversations with friends, my partner, employees, myself...... I am shifting. Aware of my own personal growth. Being aware that I need to listen more. Really listen. I am guilty of interrupting people when they speak, finishing off their sentences, zoning out half way through a conversation as my mind races to my mental list of what I need to get done.
So this week I have really tried to listen to others. It's been a challenge but something I'm going to continue to do because I really need to perfect this skill and has not been easy.
So i like to be a person of social change. I like to bring others on my journey because I think we have a lot to share and offer each other. And I like to push myself. So every two weeks I'm going to provide myself with a small personal challenge and I ask you to join me and lets keep each other accountable and support each other. So for October 15th-29th I challenge you to really listen. Listen when others speak. Don't interrupt them, listen to their voice, listen to their hearts.
Yesterday, I met with the person who I had written about in my last blog post who had disappointed me. When our conversation started, I expressed to her that I was going to LISTEN to her and not interrupt her. Anyone who knows me will tell you this is a huge deal for me! I love to interrupt and I love to argue a point! But I listened. Really listened to her. And by listening I could see where the misunderstanding had taken place. At the heart of it, both of us felt hurt, disrespected, taken for granted. Yet at the end of the conversation I think both of us walked away feeling that we were HEARD. And I think, when you feel that you are HEARD, you function from a softer and kinder place. And the outcome of our conversation led us to decide that we had a great love and respect for each other but we were still choosing to go on different paths. We hugged, we cried and wished each other well. And I walked away feeling that our paths will cross again. That this relationship was a lesson for both of us and I'm glad that she had come into my life to teach me something more about myself.... To challenge me to be a better person.
None of this would have happened if I didn't take the time to really LISTEN to her. So for the next two weeks our lesson is to LISTEN. Listen to your mother, your partner, your children, that little VOICE inside of you. Listen without interruptions and FEEL yes FEEL what you really HEAR...... keep me posted.

p.s I'm having dinner with my good friend tonight! Keeping to my personal goals! Yipee! Not going into work! I still haven't taken my partner to the movies but we did rent one but we both fell asleep!

2 comments:

(Nurse) Karen said...

I gladly accept the challenge. Sometimes, as leaders or persons accustomed to the spotlight, we tend to expect other to be interested in us more than we actually take an interest in others.

We are all equal, and deserve to be heard and respected, even when disagreements occur. So happy you have begun this important journey of healing.

Lots of love,

k.

truthaccordingtotrey said...

thanks karen, keep me posted on your progress!