Wednesday, February 3

Talk dirty to me


Lately i've had this uncontrollable desire to ask many of my friends intimate questions about their sex lives. I've been participating in really uncensored, intimate conversations with various womyn and men about their sex lives. Men have been really eager to share the goods, without hesitation they will tell me what they like in bed, what turns them on, what things will let their toes curls etc....
Womyn well... another story. It amazes me how so many of us are embarrassed to talk about desire and what we like in bed and don't like. I'm also amazed at how many womyn share that they feel embarrassed to share with their partners how to effectively "deliver the goods." Some of us were raised to be "good" girls hence we do not talk about sex and we especially don't talk about sex with our partners! And don't let me start to tell you how many womyn have shared in hushed tones that they have never experienced an ORGASM. sigh....
And as my birthday approaches I begin to think about what I want and desire out of my life and some of those things is to be able to have healthy intimate sexual relationship not only with a partner but also with myself. A quiet delightful moment with myself....
I really want to know what turns me on...what curls my toes. So I'm learning to really love my body, be proud of it, explore it, listen to it. Be sexually free. Learning to say without shame that I have desire. And I need to satisfy this desire. And as I approach my up coming birthday I have recently learnt that I'm apparently in my sexual peek zone, women reach their maximum sexual velocity between35-40, men at 18-22 years old!

Wow! And while I'm in this so called liberating sexual zone I have decided I want to not only have moments of mind blowing earth shattering raw sex and dirty dirty talk! i also want to learn how too truly be intimate. Vulnerable. I want to be held. Held? Yes held. Held before and after sex. And this is something that I have been ashamed to admit. I have been wary of intimacy. Scared to be truly intimate. Scared to touch and to be touched... And the reasons for my deep fears are too many to list. Too personal....
And, I think many of us are scared of true intimacy even though it is something that we claim to desire. Yet how many of us know how to really obtain it or even know what to do with it when it comes knocking at our door? Myself I have been guilty of being a "flight risk" anytime intimacy shows up at my door. Whenever someone feels like they are getting to close, want to love me deeper, or need me to love them deeper I'm gone---emotionally and physically. And too be really honest I must admit intimacy scares the f*&^% out of me!
So in my need to address my fears and also to liberate not only myself but also others, I've decided to go back to therapy and I will continue to publicly share some of my breakthroughs. I feel it's important to continue to work on one's self and carefully look at the cycles we continue to create. So I want to dig deep, no pun intended but I also want to address my fears with intimacy by having a little fun! Hence, my birthday party~ Talk Dirty- I like it, a birthday bash that will be fun, sensual, intimate, and really really good! Yes that good! I'm hoping that maybe we can all have a big O in our chairs! lol! So come out and join me, eat some free cake, laugh and let loose. It's going to be a dirty fun show! Just you and a few hundred of my most intimate friends.......Lets celebrate!






3 comments:

Anastasia said...

Well I must say that despite never having had an 'initamate' sit down and meet each other experience with you, I appreciate you from some strange place within me that I have yet to place my finger on/name or even really know all that well. Each blog I have had the pleasure of reading has been so bang on thoughts of my own, common experiences that womyn are so scared to share with eachother....crazy! this is how we used to raise one another! Thank you, thank you for being honest about who you are and giving a voice to so many sisters out there who hold onto deep fears that pose flight risks to their own greatness...your honesty inspires courage for me to turn around and head back down the path of my fears, so that at some point in neighborhood close by in a time not so far away...I will know how and willingly TALK DIRTY AND LIKE IT :)

Permission to risk an honest celebration of my sexuality...thanks for celebrating right along with so many others.

Happy Birthday Trey!

Anonymous said...

thanks for sharing and the birthday wishes! glad to see that my work continues to inspire and challenge others.
blessings
t

pricegirl#seven said...

I don't know if I missed the birthday party or not but Happy Birthday!
I understand about intimacy issues. I've been married for almost 26 years and still on occasion pull away...still wondering if I should commit...lol.
Love and light!