Advice For Straight Parents Of Gay Kids

My new article printed in the Toronto Star!! Advice to straight parents who have LGBT (gay) adult kids!!! Feel free to share and send a copy to your parents! lol 


http://www.thestar.com/living/article/1218904--pride-advice-for-straight-parents-of-gay-kids-from-trey-anthony

HAPPY PRIDE TORONTO!

blessings

t

Janet Jackson To Produce Transgender Doc Called 'Truth'

Janet Jackson is set to executive produce a documentary called Truth, about transgender people that aims to "stop the hate and find understanding." It will be directed by Robert Jason who describes the work as "a journey through the lives of trans- and nongendered people around the world and their epic struggle for equality."


In a statement released to the media, Janet Jackson states that her life experiences have allowed her to meet and make friends with people from many different walks of life and that her life was greatly impacted by that.  "Truth is our small chance to ask that you try and understand someone who lives their life in a way that is a little bit different from yours, even though all of our hearts are the same," said Jackson.


The trouble is that the people who need to see this movie the most, probably won't see it because of the subject matter.  Having a heavy hitter like Janet Jackson certainly give the topic a bit of a spotlight but I wonder how many NEW audiences it will actually reach. In today's society, people tend to be severely afraid of the unknown.  And as we all know, fear paralyzes and prevents one from moving forward. 


Director Robert Jason made a statement that really resonated with me..."Just as it is hard to believe that there ever was a time when different components of society were required to use separate drinking fountains, it is as incredible that one's gender expression remains just such a target for discrimination."


And it's true!  Looking at society today, we (especially the younger generation) can barely wrap our heads around that concept of a racially segregation way of life.  But, my question is this: can one film really break down those barriers?  That's a large burden to be placed on one film.  I sincerely hope that this movie will open up a dialogue and help to ease some of the hate that is prevelant in the world today!  What are your thoughts? Do you think this movie will open some new doors for the transgender community?  


Truth is set to begin production this summer.

Candida Cleanse update

So I've been on the Candida cleanse now for a week! Overall it has been going well. I'm quite proud of myself for sticking to it as much as possible. My biggest challenge has been the chocolate cravings, and it doesn't help that I'm days away from my period! Anyone who knows me, knows that I'm a big chocolate addict! European chocolate and expensive chocolate is my weakness!  And I've been known to drive far across town for a slice of decadent chocolate mousse cake! And don't get me started about the Magnum double chocolate ice cream bars!!  I would end a relationship with anyone who dared to eat or touch my precious Magnum bars in the freezer!   Just, writing about chocolate is making me salivate, so I will stop!

So changes I have noticed? I am definitely less bloated and overall my body feels lighter.  I also have noticed that the brain fog that I had been experiencing has slowly started to shift and I feel much more clearer in my thoughts. Before I would easily be distracted or often just be very forgetful.  I also feel much more physically  "present" in my body. So I'm very happy about that.

The biggest change I have noticed is my energy level. For the past few months I had been feeling exhausted. And I don't use the word exhausted lightly, it was beyond tired it was extreme exhaustion.   I was also suffering from insomnia and even when I did sleep I was always complaining of feeling exhausted.  Since starting the cleanse things have shifted, I've now moved up the positive scale from exhausted to just feeling  a little tired throughout the day.  I'm hoping that in the next few weeks I can report to you that I'm feeling full of energy. So fingers crossed.  And my sleeping has really improved the only thing that now keeps me up is the peeing trips to the bathroom because I'm drinking so much damn water!

I'm still experiencing trouble with my stomach and feeling some stomach rot and overall queasiness but I'm hoping that will eventually go away as well. 

So, I have eliminated, dairy, coffee, tea, cheese, bread, pasta, soda and of course sugar!!!   And sugar is in everything including bbq sauces, mayonnaise etc, you would be surprised at all the "hidden" sugar we consume every day.  I would suggest you really start reading your food labels!!   You will be shocked!  

Of course everyone is wondering have I "cheated...."

I must admit, I did "cheat" on day 5 and ate about six french fries, and while visiting my mother in Florida she cooked stew peas with her infamous spinners/dumplings! So I did have two small spinners!!! But a part from that I've been on track.  I'm feeling very proud of myself! I actually went to the Cheesecake Factory with friends and passed on the delicious hot fresh bread and I  didn't have any dessert which is a first for me !!! So I will keep you posted! Wishing all of you great health! If anyone else is doing a cleanse or making any healthier  lifestyle choices please feel free to share with our blog family in the comments box below!

64 year old Grandmother and Fitness Competitor - MOTIVATION

I love reading stories about grandma's.  You know I have a heart for those wiser than I am.....now this grandma is sure to motivate!

Ruby Carter-Pikes, a 64 year-old mother of four and great-grandmother has a rock hard body.  She makes me want to RUN to the nearest gym and work out all day and all night!  Check her out:

She started working out as a reaction to a long family history of illness including diabeietes, high cholestorol, heart problems and Alzheimer's.

Soon she began competing and rivaling womyn have her age in fitness com
petitions around the country.  She is living proof that fitness and health are for everyone at every age!

Apparently, she usually dresses in nothing more than a string bikini and to be honest, if I has her body, I probably would too! haha!

Just wanted to keep us all motivated as we work towards our health goals!  We don't all have to look like Ruby, but know that it is possible to start and keep a health regime at any age.  It's never too late, you just need to start!

Have a blessed weekend...

From My Heart To Yours

As I'm going through this cleanse and thinking about all the areas of my life that need some more attention, I am reminded that there are times when you need to put yourself first.  Because just like most of us, I sometimes try to please everyone else and my wants and needs get put aside for what is supposed to be a temporary time and ends up being far too long.

And as I thought about that, I was reminded of a poem by a friend of mine.  Her name is  Zakiya Toby and she wrote a great poem called 'Forgive Me'.  It talks about freeing yourself from the bounds of the guilt of trying to please everyone and the joy there is in putting yourself first for a change.  While not every line applies to my life, the overall message really resonated with me.    The poem is below and I think you will enjoy it. 


Zakiya has also written a book called From My Heart To Yours, and it's available on amazon.com.  You know that I think it's important to support upcoming local talent and she is a talented poet with a distinct point of view.

Zakiya Toby: From My Heart To Yours (on amazon.com)

Forgive me

Lately I’ve been accused

Accused of crimes against humanity

And I must confess...I’m GUILTY

So now I stand before the court

To beg for forgiveness

Please forgive me…yes forgive me for not being the person you think I should be

Cuz I’m too busy being the person God intended for me to be

Cuz sometimes I need to take care of me and my home

Sometimes I can’t take the time to take care of all your problems

While mine stand in the cold shivering

I’m sorry!

Forgive me because our relationship started off on the wrong foot

It was my fault and I take full responsibility

I shouldn’t have lent you an ear when you needed advice

A hand when you were down

And a shoulder to cry on

Being who I am I didn’t set the boundaries

You apparently needed

See, you thought that was my place

That my purpose was to feed you and for that...

My deepest apologies!

I’m also sorry for being busy

Busy taking care of a wounded soul

A broken bruised and fragile soul

That needs nurturing more than you’ll ever know

 I’m sorry for letting you think that

I was always OK

Truth is that I was not

But somehow found the inner strength to

Push past my now to peer into tomorrow

So that hope

Rises through my core

Stirs up something on the inside

And oozes through my pores

Whatever you feed will surely grow

And instead of growing the weeds and wounds

I choose to cultivate life!

Just because I smile, doesn’t mean I’m not in pain

I choose to put my best foot forward

Because that’s where it belongs

In front

But in the last little while

It’s been dangling behind me

Begging to see the sun

But I was too busy clearing the weeds

From your garden

That I neglected to tend to mine

Again I’m sorry

Truth is

I'm a single mama

With very little help

Who is on the grind every damn day for her seed

Working all kinds of jobs

To keep the tops of our heads dry

And make the hunger pangs subside

 So forgive me perhaps,

If I don't have the time to take the pieces of your life

And glue them back together after you threw down the glass

I’m sorry but I’m just too busy

Too busy taking care of me
Or busy planning
Or busy trying to forget how lonely it is sometimes

Because it sure can be lonely

But you wouldn’t know because

You talk too damn much to

Listen for just a second

Now, I’m busy
Busy building an empire

Perfectly positioning each and every brick

Busy creating a legacy that stretches

Past the generations of my mind’s eye

Busy writing my story, my future

When you’re sleeping...

I’m up at 5am with a sick child after working hard til 4

Or bathing in coffee to keep my eyes open

Enough to see the lines on the road

Or finding a moment to enjoy on my own

With a glass of wine and a good chune

I guess what I’m trying to say is…

FORGIVE ME

You are not my everything!

5 Things You Need To Cleanse

I shared with my Facebook friends that I am preparing to do a cleanse. Lately I feel like my brain has been foggy, I have not been sleeping properly, I've had crazy sugar cravings, I'm constantly feeling tired, and I'm tired of the eczema.  I decided to follow the 14 day cleanse called the Candida Diet Cleanse. (I'll post a link at the end of the blog.)

I think doing a cleanse is almost hitting the reset button and giving yourself the chance to start over with a clean slate.  Not only is it important to cleanse your body, but other areas that can benefit from a cleanse are:

1. Relationships/friends - online or offline - It's important to reevaluate the people you have around you.  Are there people who have been draining your energy or bringing you negative energy? Have you been feeling guilty about not spending enough time with certain people?  Maybe it's time for you to connect with those who have been on your mind.  and disconnect with those who just don't fit in your life anymore (for whatever reason).  Remember that people are in your life for a reason, season or a lifetime....so if their reason or season is over they have to go.

2. Goals - Yes! Cleanse your goals.  Maybe not your long term goals, but take a moment to reevaluate your goals and make sure you are either a) on the right track or b) need to make a few adjustments to see your goals through to fruition.  Make or update your vision board.  Write down  your 3 month, 6 month, 1 year, 3 year and 5 year goals.  Make sure you aren't working in vain. 

3. Home - I`m sure most of us can benefit from a little de-cluttering every now and again.  Take a moment and go through those drawers - do you have clothes you haven`t worn in 6 -12 months? Donate them!  Old makeup?  Toss it! That gift that you got from someone and you're only keeping it because you feel obligated or guilty? Give it away!  You're home needs to be a space of comfort and relaxation...fill it with positive energy!


4. Mind - I know we live in a technological society and that we are constantly bombarded with...well...stuff! But it's important to remember to take a few moments out of your busy day to renew your mind.  For some it's mediation.  For others it's writing in a journal or taking a walk.  Do whatever works for you! 


5. Body - Like I mentioned above I was tired of feeling sluggish. I was putting too many toxins in my body and it's just time to get back to basics.  The link for the cleanse I'm following is http://www.thecandidadiet.com/candida-diet-stage-one.htm.  But if that won't work for you, ask Google to help you out! Do a little research, find one that works for you, and stick with it!  Doing a cleanse is not easy, but the benefits are incredible.

I will also keep you posted on progress of the cleanse along the way...GOOD LUCK with yours.  And be sure to share your results with me!

blessings

Look At The Bigger Picture.

I saw this amazing piece of art on the internet the other day and I was completely amazed.  It's a triple portrait of Martin Luther King Jr made entirely of cleverly positioned Rubik's Cubes.  I don't know about you, but I don't exactly get creativity out of looking at a Rubik's Cube, it's more like frustration (lol).  But there's a guy who saw far past the six colored, 3x3 little cube and created an masterpiece that include dimension, shadows and depth.

I think about how gifted one must be to envision a picture created using a small childhood toy.  I can't help but compare it to  those 'shadow art' pictures I've seen.  Like this one....

or even more incredibly this one.....

Sometimes, what looks like a pile of junk is actually the masterpiece you've been striving to achieve.

I think that this concept also applies to life.  We really need to stop focusing on the small things (the individual Rubik's Cube) and think about how that Rubik's Cube fits into the bigger picture.  Sometimes the solution isn't an individual thing that needs to be dealt with and packaged up in a neat little box, but maybe it needs to stay unfinished so that it fuels the next chapter in the book of life.

I want to challenge you to look past whatever 'mess' you have in your life and focus on the bigger picture...I guarantee you will find motivation to continue because once you see the bigger picture you'll understand the purpose of the small stuff.

Have a great weekend!

Size does matter!

Your playing small does not serve the world!

Every Tuesday night I have been attending a law of attraction/manifestation class, which has become the highlight of my week! The teacher often instructs us to examine our inner circle, look at who surrounds you and carefully look at what energy you take in or allow into your life. Do you allow people to "dump" on you? Do you have people who encourage your growth? Do you daily infuse your life with bad news and only listen to negative thoughts, ideas and things? 

Thus, I now avoid watching and becoming a voyeur of bad news on television. I've also been monitoring what things I choose to read on the Internet. Now I'm more aware of how I start my day and of who I choose to speak to first thing in the morning. Do I start my day in a sense of panic and fear, or do I choose to start with yoga, meditation, reflection and calm energy? I also look at how I feel emotionally after each interaction with friends, family and acquaintances -- do they make me feel better, more alive or just simply drain me? 

The results of this intimate inspection of my life have astounded me. When you start to do deep inner work your outer world begins to drastically shift. I have noticed many shifts and movements in my relationships, friendships and family relationships. What I have been keenly aware of is how people respond to my own self-growth and changes that I have made or continue to make. I now notice that when I share good news that has happened in my life, several people whom I thought were my closest friends and/or allies have responded in either silence, half strained smiles, speeches of, "Must be nice, good things always happen to you!" or just a sense of grudgingly approval. 

This has been hard for me to witness and also to even admit. And in the past I have tried to down-play or keep good things that have happened to me to myself because I don't want others to feel bad or to think that I'm "bragging" -- I have felt a huge level of "success guilt," that somehow I must be unworthy of good things?  Thus, it has been difficult for me to celebrate my own successes and I have felt a need to suppress my own joy. 

 Often in my life I have felt a need to dim my own light in order to have so called "friends/family" feel better about themselves and this has left me feeling unsupported. This feeling of non-support has manifested itself in physical form leaving me with backache, a constant sense of fatigue, and an upset stomach. And I know my body has responded physically because I have had a hard time processing emotionally what I truly want from others in my life. I've always had a hard time asking for what I want emotionally. I recently wrote in my journal, that I wanted the universe to provide for me, people who truly support and celebrate my successes. People who are committed to my growth and want me to be the best.  And because I really try to celebrate the successes of the people in my life I also deserve that in return!  The universe has responded by providing me with a new circle of support and I'm now overwhelmed by how the new people entering my life express their love and support for me. 

Yet, I must also acknowledge those in the past who often celebrated with me. I have been blessed with a few folks in my life who continue to push me to grow, who encourage me to strive, who see for me things even bigger than I can imagine!  And I hold and cherish these people alongside "strangers" who send me emails or tweets celebrating my victories or telling me that my life inspires them to do greater.

 

Since attending my manifestation classes and being encouraged weekly to manifest only greatness in my life, I realize that me playing "small" does not serve anyone and it definitely does not serve myself. As the Marianne Williamson, quote states, "Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone." Marianne Williamson" 

So I have decided to shine bright. Play really BIG! Regardless of what people's reactions or non-reactions are. I am a child of the Universe/God, and God would only want GREATNESS for me so that is what I desire for myself, unapologetically.

I welcome your feedback and please share your own experiences of now playing BIG!!! Wishing you continued greatness!

blessings

White Man Turns Black With Melanin Injections

This is why I love Facebook.  I stumble upon some of the greatest things I've ever seen just from this social media site.  I'm lucky enough to have friends and fans who post things that make you think or simply educate you.

The other day, I was going through a friends site and I saw a picture of a white man who turned black by injecting himself with synthetic melanin.  No, no....you read that right...check out the picture below...

I was in complete disbelief, so I went to my know-it-all Best Friend (Google haha) to find out some more information...and I found a lot of medical technical stuff (that I wasn't in the mood to try to sift through).  But after a little more research I found some articles talking about Melanotan II aka the "Barbie Drug" and I found a whole world of information.  This Barbie Drug is sold as a 'tan without the sun damage' quick fix and is used by injecting the liquid into your abdomen every second day, along with one to two sunbed sessions a week, until the desired skin colour is reached and then once a week after that.  It's available online and amazon.com even advertises it.

Apparently this drug which isn't illegal to sell, but it illegal for human consumption because it hasn't been properly tested, is all the rage in Australia and the U.K.   It's making it's way to North America and I can't believe how many people are willing to use it.

What a society we live in! It seems like there is a quick fix for whatever is ailing you...you just have to be willing to pay the price either in dollars or health. There is no telling what kind of side effects these people will have in the years to come.

Be happy with who you are!  And if you're not happy, go through the proper channels to help improve the amazing person you already are!

Has anyone else out there heard about this before now?  What are your thoughts?

Front Row & Backstage Pass: Your Life

I saw this on Facebook and it really resonated with me as an actor/entertainer. Especially as I closely examine who is taking up front row in my life. This was brilliantly written by Sabeen F. Haque.....think about it! 

It doesn't really matter what stage you are at in your life- take a minute and consider the following....

The lights are dimmed, the curtains are raised and right there on center stage- the spotlight shines on you. This is your life. And you are the star of the show.

As you look out- you see your audience. Move your gaze and focus on the front row. Who do you see? These are the people who have been given the honour of having the best seats in your life. Are they your biggest fans? Are they giving you a standing ovation? When you look out- are these the familiar faces that you want to see.

Now take a step back. Look behind you. Who is standing backstage? If this was your last performance- is this the same face or faces that you would want to see?

We have all handed out front row and backstage passes to our lives. Take some time and think about who these ticket holders are? Do they deserve to be there? Do they support you through your life's performances? Everyone applauds when your show is a hit- but who is there for you when your show is a flop? Who are the faces that you look to for comfort. The ones who love you no matter how you perform? The ones who will cheer the loudest and be there no matter what price they have to pay?Is there anyone missing? 

Now consider...is there someone there who does not deserve to be? This is your stage and you can do as you choose. Your act is not over and you still have time to make it right. Your ushers are standing by. Ready to accompany your VIP's to the front and to kick out the ones who should be in standing room only or out completely.

This is your life and there is no dress rehearsal. The second act is yet to come. You decide...

Ni**as In Paris???

Recently Gwenyth Paltrow tweeted a picture that had Twitter on fire.  She attended the Jay-Z Kanye West concert in Paris with some of her celeb friends Beyonce (of course), Kelly Rowland and Spike Lee.  And while she was there she tweeted a picture with the caption "Ni**as in paris for real" (see pic below)

Gwyneth Paltrow on WhoSay

Why is everyone going crazy? At the concert that night, Jay-Z performed his song 'Ain't No Ni**a' and EVERYONE in the room was singing every lyric (including all the White girls to their Black boyfriends in the audience that night).  After all, it's just the name of the song title...right?

Reaction to this innocent (I don't think that she did it maliciously) has been varied...some say that she shouldn't have used it.  Some say get over it.  Some say that White people shouldn't use it.  It's enough to make your head spin.

So what are the 'rules' we need to live by concerning the every controversial N-word?  Is it OK to use it in hip hop circles only?  Do Black people get to use it towards each other at free will and every other race has to tread lightly when using it?

Do we allow this to go by as innocent and frown upon a  Dutch magazine calling Rihanna's style 'ni**gabitch'?  (Click here to read more)

I don't think we'll ever come to a consensus on the use of the word...but I'm curious to know if any of you use the word.  Do you get offended when Black people use the word?  Other races?  Maybe it's the context that matters most?

Should Justin Keep The Money?

There has been a recent uproar about Diddy's son, Justin Combs, as he received a $54,000 football scholarship to attend UCLA.

First of all, congrats to Justin!  A football scholarship isn't easy to obtain.  He had to put in a heck of a lot of work in order for UCLA to want him on their team.  And at the end of the day isn't that what matters?  Why are we devaluing Justin's achievements?  He worked really hard and EARNED that scholarship. And at the end of the day it is important for Justin to understand the value in earning his keep. His dad's money isn't his money.

Justin even took to Twitter to defend his choice in accepting the scholarship saying:  "Regardless what the circumstances are, I put that work in!!!! ... PERIOD."

As far as I understand, athletic scholarships are based on the students athletic abilities and are funded separately from the educational scholarships; he isn't taking money away from someone else who needs the financial assistance.

Some say that Diddy should give a scholarship to someone who needs and deserves it in a good will gesture of giving back.

What do you think?  Is he responsible for 'giving back' because Justin doesn't need it?

Homeless to Harvard: One Student's Incredible Journey

David Boone is the latest high school student to be accepted to Harvard.  The 18 year old aspiring engineer turned down offers from Yale and Princeton to attend the Ivy League school in the fall. The only thing is that he is homeless.  That's right.  David Boone spent many a night sleeping in a park or at a friends house.  Sneaking into friends homes to shower first thing in the morning.  Until one day the principle of his school opened his home to Boone.  

Talk about a tough life!  But he fought almost every challenge imaginable including being lured into gangs and came out victorious.  He knew deep inside that this was NOT his destiny.

You can read more about his story here: http://bossip.com/592488/on-the-come-up-from-homeless-to-harvard-this-kid-deserves-major-props/#.T8gjiikB-TI.facebook 

This just goes to show that no matter how difficult your circumstances may seem there is always room to rise above and soar among the clouds.  Determination to succeed and the desire to surpass your current situation is all that you really need.  So stop waiting to the perfect time, or the perfect situation, or for the stars to align before you turn your situation around.  Chances are whatever you're going through is not as bad as what David went through.  And if you are in the same boat....take this as a lesson to know that you can succeed! 

It's time to re-write your future.  

This reminds me of a quote from JK Rowling (the Harry Potter Genius) who was on public assistance, and wrote the Harry Potter phenomenon from a coffee shop.

If any of you out there is in a position that makes you feel like you are at rock bottom....start building....there's no where else to go but UP!