ending the day on a high note

Just a little note of inspiration for ya'll. Don't believe what they tell you!

p.s In high school a teacher once said to me, "You'll never be a writer, because you write how you speak.... maybe you should think about being a hairdresser!"

I took her advice and I wrote a play about a hairdresser called 'da Kink in my hair!

Update!

Hey folks here is my involvement in getting the World Pride here in Toronto for 2014! It would be big tings for Toronto! Yep that's me up in the video with our mayor! I'm proud that Canada recognizes same sex marriages and we have done our best to be a country that preaches tolerance, love and acceptance of everyone. That everyone should have basic human rights regardless of their sexual orientation.

'da Kink is going to Broadway and I'm writing a Best seller!

I'm excited about my life! My life is keeping me up at night! I've been up since 4:30 am thinking about my life. I feel that there is so much that I want to do! I have narrowed my focus down to my top three goals for my life.
Goal number one is to finish writing my novel, Lakey at the Bottom of the Lake. I'm taking two months off to write. So I'm going to L.a to write every day for two months. I shiver as I write this. The possibility of writing every day scares and thrills me at the same time. Last week I listened to an interview with Jack Canfield, the best selling author of Chicken Soup for the Soul( for some reason I always want to write Chicken foot soup for the soul! It's the Jamaican in me! lol anyway i regress...) So Jack shared that when he and his partner started writing the book, he told everyone that he was writing a best seller and people laughed at him, and he got turned down by over a hundred publishers! But he said he always believed and acted like he had already written a best seller. He said he would photocopy the best selling list, white out the names at the top of the list and write in his own novel's name, photocopy it and paste it on his walls in his office. He truly believed that if you put your thoughts out into the universe they will become that. Chicken Soup for the Soul eventually sold over 112 million copies, with titles translated into more than 40 languages. It became the best selling paperback in the history of publishing! Coincidence i think not. Manifestation? Yes! So I'm letting you folks know that I'm writing a best seller and I will share excerpts of my work with you as I progress. I leave for L.a in a few weeks. I'm so excited!Goal number two is I'm going to produce 'da Kink theatrical play on Broadway. Oprah Winfrey or Will Smith is going to produce it. Bold? Yes. But it's what I want. So I wrote it. I'm putting my life into action. I truly believe this is going to happen and I will do everything in my power to ensure that it does. I'm dreaming beyond my circumstances! "If you want something go out and get it!" Pursuit of happiness..... Oprah hasn't called yet but I know she will. And when I'm in L.a I'm going to see if I can set up some meetings with Will Smith's folks. Don't know how yet...but it's going to happen. Any leads anyone? I truly believe in the power of manifestation. Ten years ago I walked by the Princess of Wales Theatre and Lion King was playing and I said to my partner at that time, "One of these days my play is going to be here!" Bear in mind I had never written anything much less a play I was a broke out of work comedian, and a fat black actress!Fast forward a few years later and my play 'da Kink in my Hair became the first Canadian play to ever be produced at the Princess of Wales Theatre! So I will tell you, boldly tell you, 'da Kink will be on Broadway!Folks will say years from now she wrote it on her blog! It has been written so it is now done!
Will Smith. There are a few people in this industry whom I really admire. One of them is Will Smith. I will work with him one day. He has accomplished so much and I'm an admirer of his work ethic, his commitment to family, his ability to transcend boundaries. And don't get me started on the movie he was in, Pursuit of Happiness. One of my favourites! He is a role model. I'm very proud of him.
And goal number 3, is to one day have my own talk show! In the last few days a total of about fifteen people have said to me, you should have a talk show. I believe the universe gives you signs and it's up to you to listen. Every time someone mentions to me that I should have my own show, my heart skips a beat because it's something that I really want. Something that I have dreamt about for years. But I'm scared.... So that being said. I'm going to do goal one and two first while I figure out what's scaring me about goal number three. So here is a video link to some of my favourite quotes from Will Smith. Thanks to my girl Kandynce for sending me this video. I love it! I hope you enjoy it. Remember if you want something, go out and GET IT!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OLN2k0b3g70

if you don't hear you will feel! National LISTENING WEEKS Oct 15th-29th!

I think every black child knows the saying, "If you don't hear you will feel!" Our parents usually muttered this saying before quickly reaching for the belt! Basically their thoughts were if you don't listen then you will get a beating!

And now as an adult when i don't listen i still get a beating--- an emotional beating.....

This week has been a week of emotional cleansing and personal work. In depth personal conversations with friends, my partner, employees, myself...... I am shifting. Aware of my own personal growth. Being aware that I need to listen more. Really listen. I am guilty of interrupting people when they speak, finishing off their sentences, zoning out half way through a conversation as my mind races to my mental list of what I need to get done.

So this week I have really tried to listen to others. It's been a challenge but something I'm going to continue to do because I really need to perfect this skill and has not been easy.

So i like to be a person of social change. I like to bring others on my journey because I think we have a lot to share and offer each other. And I like to push myself. So every two weeks I'm going to provide myself with a small personal challenge and I ask you to join me and lets keep each other accountable and support each other. So for October 15th-29th I challenge you to really listen. Listen when others speak. Don't interrupt them, listen to their voice, listen to their hearts.

Yesterday, I met with the person who I had written about in my last blog post who had disappointed me. When our conversation started, I expressed to her that I was going to LISTEN to her and not interrupt her. Anyone who knows me will tell you this is a huge deal for me! I love to interrupt and I love to argue a point! But I listened. Really listened to her. And by listening I could see where the misunderstanding had taken place. At the heart of it, both of us felt hurt, disrespected, taken for granted. Yet at the end of the conversation I think both of us walked away feeling that we were HEARD. And I think, when you feel that you are HEARD, you function from a softer and kinder place. And the outcome of our conversation led us to decide that we had a great love and respect for each other but we were still choosing to go on different paths. We hugged, we cried and wished each other well. And I walked away feeling that our paths will cross again. That this relationship was a lesson for both of us and I'm glad that she had come into my life to teach me something more about myself.... To challenge me to be a better person.

None of this would have happened if I didn't take the time to really LISTEN to her. So for the next two weeks our lesson is to LISTEN. Listen to your mother, your partner, your children, that little VOICE inside of you. Listen without interruptions and FEEL yes FEEL what you really HEAR...... keep me posted.

p.s I'm having dinner with my good friend tonight! Keeping to my personal goals! Yipee! Not going into work! I still haven't taken my partner to the movies but we did rent one but we both fell asleep!

Praying for your "enemies", blessing them. Is it possible?

Lately, I have been disappointed by someone and I have felt a great sense of betrayal and hurt. Initially, my reaction was to "fight back" and prove that I am right on this. And I have gone over different conversations in my head with this individual and tried to really see how we have reached this place. I have felt a need to call family and friends to prove my point! And it has taken up a lot of my energy. Yesterday, I went to the Verity Centre for better living, which is a wonderful spiritual centre that my partner and I have been recently attending. The pastor, Evan W. Reid is dynamic! I would encourage you to attend if you are looking for a place to grow spiritually and emotionally.

This week the pastor made a very profound statement and he said, "when your 'enemies' plant weeds in your garden use the dandelions to make a healing medicine for yourself... bless them because they have come to bring more awareness to yourself, giving you a chance to heal yourself...." It was an enlightening moment for myself when he proceeded to talk about taking that 'enemy' and shining light on them, giving them good energy and blessing them. I was skeptical but I did it. And when I did this, I immediately felt lighter, I felt that there was no need for me to give "this" anymore worry or cause of concern. No need to engage in conversations with others about proving how "right" I am. No need to wait for an apology. Our time has passed. Our journey over. And I truly wish this individual goodness because I wish goodness for myself.

So when I got back from the centre, another friend called leaving a message to give me the "update" on what this individual's point of view was. And for me it was no longer an issue. No need to talk about it. No need to see who was right or wrong. It was over. I had given it my energy, which was to give it "light."

Thus, I am aware of how much I have grown spiritually. The old me would have been vex for years! I would have sat on the phone and chat them till their ears burn! I would have silently plotted my revenge and kissed my teeth every time their name came up!

And now, I am surprised at how easy it is for me to just let things and people go... It doesn't mean that I don't love or care about them. I do. But I recognize not everyone in my life needs to play a central role in my life. I can love them from a distance. Pray for them and bless them.

Thus, I shine light upon you my friend. Walk good!

Here's a song that i really have been enjoying in my spiritual journey I hope you like it as much as I do. A note to God...

You better look busy-God is coming!

The closing of a show is similar to the ending of a relationship. You remember the good times and the bad. You think I would do it all over again maybe? Maybe differently...... You think about what's next? Where do I go from here? And some days you feel weepy, relieved, sad, and moments of happiness that it's all over!

I want to thank everyone for all their support and love. This couldn't have happened without you.

Yet, the closing of Secrets marks a huge turning point in my life. It is a completion of a goal. A few years ago, I had read somewhere that people who write down their goals have 80% chance of achieving them, then people who don't. Since then I have been writing down my goals and conducting a mental review of them in my head...so I thought. Yesterday on the train, on my way into work, I looked back on my journal of goals that I had written for myself. Goals which I wanted to achieve for 2009. It was quite shocking. I had not reviewed my goals since writing them down January 1, 2009. Surprisingly, many of my business goals I had met and surpassed. Yet, nearly all of my personal goals I had not even started. I had written down that I would like to go to the movies once per month with my partner. That has not happened. I said I would call my father once per month that has not happened. I said I would visit my family more and spend more quality time with my friends and that has not happened. Well that kinda somewhat happened.... my family came over for the opening of Secrets and I was so grateful to have that time to spend with my mom and my sister. I think it brought us closer as a family and I was so grateful to have my mom's support and help during Secrets.

And my favourite person in the world came over, cousin Sheron, all the way from England. She spent ten days! Ten days of laughter, jokes, eating English biscuits and chocolate and I would not trade that time for anything else in the world. Yet I realized that before this visit I had not spoken to my cousin in nearly two years! Not good enough!

And now I'm here. Secrets has closed and I'm feeling proud but really burnt out. Really tired. And I realize once again I have not created balance in my life. Business has taken over. I have not nurtured myself, or my personal relationships!

People keep asking me, so trey what's next? I feel myself caving into the pressure. Feeling that I need to "look" busy again. And yet my body is aching, my back is screaming and I'm tired. So for the next two months in order to fulfill my personal 2009 goals I'm going to actively work on them! Thus, I'm going to work a short work week. I'm going to go into the office three days per week and the other two days I'm going to work on my personal goals. I'm going to go and visit my sister. I'm going to take my partner to the movies. I'm going to call my cousin. Make peace with my Dad and just take some time for myself and those that I love.....

So folks that's what's next---I'm going to really LIVE!