Reading to Our Daughters

I've always been an avid reader. I just love the journey that you take which book and the feeling of wisdom that you walk away with when you close the final chapter. I remember spending hours at the library as a little girl, trying to find an exciting book to read. As I am going through the adopting process right now to be a mom soon, I've started thinking about what kind of toys I want my child(ren) to play with and what books that I will read to them. I want my little one(s) to be readers!

I came across a great article on Essence.com a little while ago that lists 10 books to read to our brown daughters. It’s so important to expose our children to books that can not only teach or entertain them but to also empower and inspire them. There are so many more books on the market now that help provide our young readers a self-esteem boost with faces that reflect their own, telling positive stories. The list is one that I will definitely keep in mind as it includes many great titles such as No Mirrors in My Nana’s House, I love my hair!, Happy to Be Nappy, and so many more. Check out the full list here.

What books do you read to your little readers? I would love some suggestions!

MONDAY MOTIVATION: My Book Recommendation For Releasing Hurt & Disappointment in Your Life

 

Yesterday morning, I checked out Oprah's 'Super Soul Sunday' and she had author Don Miguel Ruiz on. I have to say that his book The Four Agreements is one of my favourite and one of the most impactful personal development books that I've read. It's one of those books that I've read at least 5-6 times and have found / learned something new from it each time because there was a part that spoke to my current situation.

The premise of the book is to basically realize that how you feel about your life and the people around you is based on how you observe and interpret the world. I like the message of the book because it empowers its reader to realize that we are in control of our lives - not the person who hurt us, anyone who made us upset, the awful situation that happened. We can flip our interpretation of the events that happen in our lives in order to free ourselves from the emotional struggles that we commonly face.

Ruiz outlines 4 agreements that you should follow:

Be Impeccable With Your Word
I love this one! To be impeccable with your word is to not use your words to spread emotional toxicity - not speak badly about yourself or to not gossip about others. This agreement recognizes the power that words have in creating the world around us. Spreading office gossip will only make your life at the office miserable. Speaking badly about yourself will only make you feel worse and will perpetuate the cycle of people treating you with the same lack of respect. Speak with integrity.

Don't Take Anything Personally
Probably the most important of the agreements is the ability to not personalize every action and word towards you. It's a difficult one but a very important one to achieve. Make yourself immune to the opinion and actions of others. Ruiz says that we take things personally because on some level we believe about ourself what others have to say. Release yourself from personalizing people's words otherwise you can walk around getting hurt by everyone and everything.

Don't Make Assumptions
You can completely transform your life if you learn how not to make assumptions in your relationships or in your interactaction with people. How many of us, before even asking any questions, assume that a person tried to hurt us or had ill intentions towards us? You took something that they said to you personally without asking them what they truly meant by it. We make the assumption then that everyone is judging us, victimizing us, or abusing us. Which is more so a reflection of how we view ourselves.

Always Do Your Best
Plenty of the hurt and disappointment that we feel is based on our own feelings of self-judgment, self-abuse, shame and regret. Release that and instead vow to ourselves that we will always do our best in the current situation that we are in - keeping in mind that your best today may not be your best tomorrow. Learn to have patience with yourself. The hardest thing to do and something that I'm learning each day to do better is to be kind to myself. Tell myself that it's okay if I didn't do all that I set out to accomplish for the day or if I didn't say the right thing to someone - striving for perfection is the quickest road to stress and disappointment.

Did you watch 'Super Soul Sunday' this weekend? Have you read the book? If so, tell me about the lessons that you've learned. Would love to hear it!

Halle Berry, Angela Davis and More Discuss Their 'Journey to the Woman I've Come to Love'

Halle Berry: “i would probably say that i fell in love with myself after my second divorce. i think it was at that time that i realized what i was made of. i realized that i was enough all by myself.”

We've all been there, while some of us still struggle with learning how to love the womyn that we are. There are so many forces in society that tell us who we should be, how we should act and what we should look like. So, finding your footing in this world to proclaim "I love me"  is a battle that takes some time, patience and kindness to yourself.

A new book out by award-winning photojournalist, Mikki Turner, titled Journey to the Woman I've Come to Love details the stories of notable womyn who learned to love themselves. The coffee table book features celebrities such as: Halle Berry, Sanaa Lathan, Angela Davis as well as many who are out of the spotlight such as everyday executives, activists and others who are just as inspiring. The essential premise of the book is initiated with the question that each womyn interviewed was asked, "“At what point did you fall in love with yourself?”

It's great to see a timeless book like this one released. Especially one that highlights the journey of womyn of colour because self acceptance is not a topic widely covered in our communities. It's another one of those topics that is seen as not something that womyn of colour struggle with. We are often portrayed to be these strong womyn who are confident and love our bodies regardless of size. Which isn't always the case - in most cases it's quite the opposite.So many of us are living the struggle of not liking who we are in silence.

I am definitely going to check out this book as I think that it's an essential addition to every womyn's bookshelf.

You can read an interview with the author about the book as well as view a slideshow of a few quotables from these womyn over at The Grio.