Love Janelle Monae on the Cover of Essence Magazine

 

Janelle Monae looks beautiful on the cover of Essence magazine for May!  I really like Janelle's vibe because she just glows with positivity and confidence.

In the magazine, she discusses her wanting to remain unique with her black and white tuxedo style as well as her commitment to showing womyn and young womyn that you don't have to show skin to be beautiful or sexy. I love that she continues to stand up to redefining what a pop singer is and looks like. With beautiful natural hair, chocolate skin and a menswear style, she does not look like anyone in the industry. Sometimes as an artist, it can be very easy to get caught up in wanting to fit the mold of what is already successful. You feel like you don't want to veer to far from the line of what works. And since the entertainment industry is so focused on looks, everyone trying to make it may feel the need to look like what's "hot" out there (i.e Beyonce and Rihanna). Instead Monae focuses on showing the opposite of what is considered sexy yet remains successful. As she puts it, "showing my skin is not what makes me sexy."

I think Janelle is an important voice in the industry and I hope she continues to stick to her positive message. It's also refreshing to see a new face on the cover of our magazines because while it's great to have magazines that cater to and showcase brown skinned girls, these magazines often recycle the same few faces.

What do you think of Janelle's stance on not having to show skin to be sexy and sell records?

MONDAY MOTIVATION: Tina Turner's Vogue Cover Reminds Me of a Few Lessons on Loving Your Body and Aging Gracefully

Tina Turner looks fabulous on the cover of the German edition of Vogue magazine. At 73 years old, she may just be one of Vogue's eldest cover models but you would never tell with her confident pose and glowing beauty. It's about time we see womyn of varying age groups covering top magazines as we often only see cover models of a certain look or age group.

Seeing her on the cover and other womyn who look more and more amazing with age, makes me excited about entering this new decade of my life (the dirty 40s!). And, drives home for me the importance of having a set of guiding principles regarding living my best life and living healthy. Because as you age, you realize that it's less about fitting into those skinny jeans and more about standing in exactly who you are and finding a lifestyle that suits where you are at.

My 5 main principles that I try to stick to are:

Eat the cake! - you may have to work out afterwards or walk a few extra steps but eat the cake.

Doesn't matter your age or what you've been through, it's never too late to re-program your thinking. Create positive body affirmations for yourself like"With each day, with each year I get healthier and stronger"

Stop forcing yourself to eat your brussel sprouts or insert here whatever healthy food you dislike.  Find some healthy, feel good foods that you do love and incorporate it into your meals everyday. Hate broccoli but love mango? Make your self a mango smoothie in the morning or add slices of mango in your salad.

Take the time to unwind - Being driven and ticking stuff off your to-do list is great and a must-have for people with a dream but don't be afraid to turn off your phone, computer, etc. and take some time to check-in with yourself. Do what you love to do during this time, journal, take a bath..find some way to relax and let go.

Sleep is important people! - this is an absolute must! We are not all P.Diddy, so sleeping when we die is not an option. Sleep now so that you can live longer and healthy.

What are some of your lifestyle principles? Would love to hear it!

We Need to Stop Looking to Barbie to See Ourselves - New Black Barbie Stirs Controversy

Barbie has always stirred a lot of controversy - from creating unrealistic body ideals for children growing up to the addition of "diverse" Barbie dolls who's features weren't so diverse. Remember the first black Barbie that looked basically like a white Barbie painted brown? Well, there is a new black Barbie that may be hitting shelves and many womyn are not impressed with the look of it.

Sporting blond straight hair, a cleavage baring top and two monogrammed designer bags, many feel that it is representative of a stereotypical ideal. In my opinion, the doll does not actually look too different from plenty of the images of black womyn we see on the TV (from the Basketball wives to Nicki Minaj). On the one hand, I appreciate the efforts of trying to create diverse dolls so that little brown girls can play with dolls that look like them. Many of the new dolls have deeper skin and fuller lips.
But , has Barbie ever been representative of the majority of the population - white, brown or different? I think that we all know by now not to look to Barbie to see ourselves. Barbie has never represented true diversity. If I had a daughter, I would steer clear of Barbies completely and support local or smaller manufacturers who create beautiful black dolls with kinky hair, round noses and full lips. So that she knew that her unique features are beautiful too.
What do you all think, would you buy any of the new ethnic Barbies that have been introduced on the market for your daughters?

MONDAY MOTIVATION: Isn't It Time To Put To Rest The Myth That Black Eating Disorders Don't Exist?

Loving yourself is a difficult journey – but it is a road worth travelling

- Chivon John

 Guest post by: Safia Bartholomew

Quick, name a black woman who has openly discussed her issues with not loving her body and described her struggles in battling an eating disorder? I'll wait. Nothing comes to mind right? It's hard to think of many examples (if any), because the narrative in the media, throughout our communities and even in academic research omits the story of the black woman who doesn't love her body and who rejects that old "the bigger the better" myth that has become our story. There is a false idea that black women are more comfortable in their bodies than other races. It's popular opinion in our communities that negative body image is "their issue - not ours". For the sisters who look in the mirror and hate what they see, their battle becomes a journey on mute - unheard of and unrecognized.

The expectations of what a black woman's body should look like has simply become ridiculous with the influence of the media and specifically hip hop. The "coke-bottle" figure has become our unrealistic barbie doll standard of what beauty is. While some women are blessed with natural curves, others find it hard to either "build a booty" or to maintain a healthy weight while trying to achieve a plump, round behind and tiny waist. Not to mention on another note, that many of the top black women celebs that we see are often quite thin (e.g. Halle Berry, Kerry Washington). Unrealistically thin or curves for days, the standard for black women's bodies is often far unreachable and sometimes unattainable to achieve in a healthy way.

I heard wellness advocate and speaker, Chivon John, talk about her journey at a workshop that she held last September and thought that her bravery and openness in discussing her own battle with a negative self-image and eating disorder was inspiring, unique and refreshing. Chivon's mission has simply become to continue to love the woman that she sees in her mirror and to encourage other women to take a look as well. Check out what she had to say below about her story and how she learned to love what she sees.

On her journey to feeling good about her body
My journey of learning to love my body came through battling depression, self-loathing and an unhealthy relationship with food. I didn’t make healthy choices with respect to my nutrition and for years I experimented with unrealistic diets including having bouts of binging and purging and even depriving myself of food. 

If I could go back in time, I wish I could tell myself that I was searching for something that didn’t exist in a pair of skinny jeans. Feeling accepted and worthy won’t appear if you have a six-pack and working out solely ‘to look a certain way’ will never feel right unless you get real about the other issues that are really holding you back.

I silently struggled for years but my turning point came in 2008 when I competed in a fitness competition. It was a way to confront my confidence issues by ironically doing the thing that scared me the most, putting my body on display. I competed for about 3 years but it was never about winning or proving that my body looked the best. It ignited my passion to learn more about fitness, nutrition and how amazing it was to look and feel strong.

Being comfortable with yourself is an ongoing journey and I’m happy to say that my focus continues to be learning to accept my flaws and learning to love myself unconditionally.  

Advice to women who struggle with seeing themselves as ugly / fat   
When a woman has an internal narrative that they are not good enough, they usually will have an underlying feeling that they need to do something to ‘fix themselves’ or that are not worthy. In my advice to them I would say that the only thing that needs to be fixed are their beliefs. Take a photo of yourself when you are baby and ask yourself would you call that child ugly or the other vile things you say about yourself?  Buried beneath the pain is an amazing person that you haven’t met yet because your thoughts create a wall that keep you suffering. Remember that you are a special person even on the days when you can’t see it.  

On black women not being the "face" of eating disorders

Even though there is more dialogue about the body image of black women today, I believe that distorted beliefs still exist about eating disorders. I grew up hearing stereotypes such as ‘black girls don’t get eating disorders’ or ‘that’s a white girl thing’ and learned pretty quickly that it’s probably not something I should talk about or even acknowledge was a problem. I’m happy to see that more people especially individuals in the public eye are being more vocal about their struggle because it gives a voice to those who are suffering in silence. The image of a black woman’s body has a lot of history and still to this day there are so many distorted views of who we are and how we should look like. I think that in order to have more of a voice, we need to stand up and share our stories so it will help the people that need to hear them.

Best tips for loving and taking care of your body

Listen to your body – Our bodies often send us cues when something isn’t right. Things like acne, headaches, sudden weight gain or weight lost are usually signs that something isn’t right. Your nutrition can play a big role with that as well and its important to take the time to understand how your body reacts to certain things and take the steps to eliminate anything that doesn’t make you feel your best.

Create a positive body image manifesto – I created one for myself as a personal reminder that I don’t need external validation and to celebrate the qualities I love about myself. I think it’s a great exercise to create your own and use it as a personal affirmation to celebrate how awesome you are.

Don’t give in to negative thoughts – Don’t let your own negative beliefs or comments from others dictate how you feel about yourself. Say that you are amazing, even on the days when you don’t believe it. 

Connect with Chivon for more inspiration and tips over at chivonjohn.com

Happy Monday!