10 Black Women Media and Film Makers Who Inspire Us

by: April D. Byrd

Congratulations to Ava Duvernay on becoming the first Black woman director to be nominated for a Golden Globe for Best Director in the motion picture category. Her nomination and those of other black media and film makers may be over due, but it's still inspiring. Film makers and other creative women in media like Ava give me hope. Media is a powerful tool. I'm hopeful and inspired by Ava and other creatives because their success, along with their drive affirm that our voices can and will be heard, but also honored.

Ava's work is praise worthy along with other talented black voices shaping media and film. For media creators young and old, it's good to see people who follow their passion and gain reputable success. There are a number of Black women media pioneers who are rising to the occasion and serving as inspiration, hopefully for more creatives to come. Here are a few play makers who are changing the game and leaving a legacy for the next generation.

Can you think of any other Black women in media and film who are changing the game? Tyra Banks, Queen Latifah, Karen Civil? You? Let us know your thoughts and picks in the comments section below. You can follow this conversation and the latest updates on Trey Anthony's Facebook fan page.




- April D. Byrd is a Writer, and the creator of  breathoflifedaily.com

The Corner of Ferguson And Freedom

by: April D. Byrd 

When we see sexualized depictions of women in the media, that are self generated is it limitation or liberation? an age-old debate wrapped in the perception of a power struggle. So, it's redundant to continue feeding the illusion. Sexual liberation is not and issue. Smart women own their bodies, period.

Since the popularity of Rapper Lil Kim and the image she pervaded in the media. Hyper-sexuality in women came to be more worthy of discussion. In an infamous interview by Bell Hooks for Vibe Magazine it was debated whether Kim was furthering or hindering the cause of strong women.

Now the question has been regurgitated in the wake of  Rapper Nicki Minaj's cover art and Viral video for Anaconda. In a recent Poll for Essence, the magazine inquired whether it was ok for women artists to exploit women's bodies. Something male artists clearly catch hell for. 

If exploitation or celebration is the continual question at hand, then Nicki's specific byte from Sir-Mix-A- Lot's "Baby Got Back" is a case within it self. Which is more stunning: to be referred to as a child or the exclusive emphasis on Baby's "back"? but why are we still talking about this?

Being born into a media climate where sexuality and physical attributes are heavily stressed regardless of race, it took divine revelation and a brush with wisdom to conclude that I as a woman am more than my body...then being a black girl with a naturally skinny physique the cultural taunt is that I naturally should have a little more derriere. I've joked and mocked at my perceived "small booty" myself but the unpopular truth is, bodies are made to be unique. There is a great need to dismantle the stereotypical or manufactured images being received as right or perfect. Only 5% of women have the type of bodies we see on Billboards and TV commercials. Embrace that you're God's artwork and realize your capability as an artist. It is up to us to honor our bodies and own the representation of them.

In her rant: The Real Problem With Nicki Minaj's Anaconda Cover Art And Her "Black Jezebel" Brand Tiffanie Drayton exposes Nicki's attempt to highlight the voices of critics as a racial issue. In Minaj's defense she tweeted white female bodies in contrast to her's with the same pose, which does make sense, but Nicki's image as an artist still capitalizes on a central theme, and her brand reinforces the notions of Black Female Hyper-sexuality. 

-- "In today’s America where the CDC reports that Black women are between 6-17 times more likely to suffer from sexually transmitted diseases due to social and economic conditions including poverty, income inequality, unemployment and low educational attainment, the need for a modernized scapegoat used to avoid culpability for the Black condition has never been more dire. Nicki Minaj is the current walking embodiment of that tradition of stereotype-enabled victim-blaming, proving that as a society, America has yet to defeat its racist notions and will even continue to invoke them to the economic and social benefit of the Whiter man."

The defilement, murder and disregard for life, given through the crisis in ferguson and the case of Mike Brown correspondingly bring victims like Jada, of #IAmJada to mind. Black women's bodies are under a constant surveillance, they are policed and scrutinized heavily in the media. They have suffered degradation and devalue through out the ages. The racialized fear of black female hyper-sexuality also transfers onto the sexualized white female body and the criminalized black male body.*

The prevalent hashtag presented by the NAACP: #blacklifematters equally applies here. The reality is ...LIFE Matters. No BODY should be sold short. Regardless of  being any distinctive class of people. We're all living, breathing beings with life. #Imatter, #Lifematters, We all matter, beyond our physical bodies there is a soul. No life should be taken in vain, or taken for granted. The line between  celebration or exploitation of female bodies...or life in general, is not thin AT ALL. It's up to every individual to put down the stereotypes, and push for integrity.

----

Subscribe to Trey Anthony's Fan Page and @aprilinspired on Twitter for the latest updates.

Mo'ne Davis Led Her All-Male Baseball Team To World Series

by: April D. Byrd

In this generation women are pushing through and girls are going hard. In the wake of Becky Hammons landmark advancement in the NBA, 13-year-old Mo'ne Davis from Philadelphia led her all-male Little League baseball team to the World Series by striking out six batters, the win was an 8-0 victory, and she currently pitches a 70-mph fastball.  Nuff said...the girl's good! It goes to show that women are not limited as we're sometimes led to believe. No one can tell us what we can or can't do, all that matters is having the tenacity to do it. We define our destiny and our legacy.

Girls have been allowed to play in the Little League World Series since 1974. Another girl will play in this year's series as well, Emma March of Canada's South Vancouver League. Davis and March will appear at the world series for the first time this Friday August 14th, on ESPN. This is the third time in history two girls have played in the Little League World Series at once.

Hopefully more reports of courageous female athletes will continue to spread. It's very empowering to see ladies being driven to do life on their own terms and pursue their passion disregarding the risks. The Little League World Series will air consecutively over ESPN, ESPN2, and ABC networks during the weekend. These girls do my heart good! It's definitely an event worth catching!

Way to Go Ladies!!!

Check out Mo'Ne in action in the video below:






What do you think about Davis and March playing with with the boys? Share your thoughts in the comments section below. and join the convo on Trey Anthony's Facebook Fan Page and Twitter: @aprilinspired.

Black Women Entrepreneurs On The Rise

by: April D. Byrd

We suppose the reports are just catching up with the facts because, Black Women have been taking charge for a while now. Over the last 17 years to be exact, according to a report by KTHV. An increasing number of minority women are starting businesses 6 times more than the national average. There are more than one million African-American female business owners in the U.S.

At this time the rise may be becoming too phenomenal to ignore. According to Bruce James Dean of Business at Philander Smith College: "As more and more African-American women obtain higher degree levels they are more likely to start their own business because they feel that they are better prepared to do so."

James issued that "one of the greater issues with not being successful for minorities and women in general is being under-capitalized when they start their business ventures". However, thanks in part to social online tools crowdfunding, millennials and minorities are overcoming the gap. One recent example is Demajali West, a young women who greatly exceeded a $17,000 Kickstarter campaign goal, for her original "hookie-do" trademark.  Many women still face obstacles in the work place dealing with double-standards, office politics, etc and have decided to take matters into their own hands.

A recent report released on the State of Black Women in 2014 revealed that black women led in labor participation rates, and were overwhelmingly likely to work, even as mothers of small children. Little Rock's KTHV, interviewed entrepreneur Cushina Scott  for a recent women's week segment,  Scott stated: " at the end of the day I'm all about women empowerment, she has everything, she can have everything. She can be what she wants to be."

We concur.

check out Scott's KTHV Interview below:



Follow the latest updates from The Truth According to Trey Blog on Trey Anthony's Facebook Fanpage and Twitter/Instagram: @aprilinspired.

Redefining The Meaning Of #LikeAGirl (Video)

by: April D. Byrd

The feminine hygiene products company Always recently created a "pantene-esque" type social awareness video to get down to the true essence of the phrase "Like A Girl". In May 2014 the brand conducted a study surveying 1,300 American women between the ages of 16 and 24 years old. The results were what we probably would have guessed already: The phrase was mostly considered demeaning, and not a lot of people had a positive association with it.

More than half of the girls surveyed in the study claimed to experience a drop in confidence at puberty. 89 percent agreed that words can be harmful (especially to girls) self-confidence. That's a rather high count. Maybe society has neglected the old "sticks and stones" adage, but the wrong words to a person with already low self-esteem can of course hurt like hell.  The truth of the matter is "Where there is no enemy within, the enemy outside cannot hurt you"...not verbally at least. This means when you know for sure who you truly are and all the light that you're created to be, you know that darkness is a non-factor because you in fact have power over it. So...it doesn't matter if the haters throw shade, they can't dim your shine.

Words are big and powerful issues, especially now in this age where everybody has a platform. We don't have to eliminate them or ban them like Sheryl Sandberg's ostracized " Ban Bossy" attempt, but we can turn them around for the better. The nature of doing anything "like a girl" a girl or woman should be emphasized in strength, because women are the very essence of it. Any media's degradation of women is a lie and a facade.

The great thing about the #LikeAGirl video is that it indeed took a turn for the better. When the actual "girls" where consulted on the issue, they gave their actions all they had. They didn't put forth light or lazy effort, but operated in true strength and substance. One little girl when asked "What does it mean to 'run like a girl?" she replied "It means run as fast as you can."

Check out the #LikeAGirl Video (below):

What do you think about the video? did you think it was funny at first as well? Share your thoughts in the comments below and follow up on the conversation with Trey Anthony on her Facebook fan page.

----

April D. Byrd is a Writer, Social Media Producer, and the Creator of Breath Of Life Daily Online Journal and Praying Empress. You can connect with her on twitter @aprilinspired.

A Black Marylin Monroe and Lupita's Beautiful Cover

by April D. Byrd

Oprah's Happy new friend with the big hat Pharrell Williams debuted some new artwork for his latest single "Marylin Monroe" this week. Williams took a lot of heat earlier in the year for reportedly no deeper complexioned women of color on His G.I.R.L album. Pharrell knows how to give the people what they want. Apparently so does People Magazine.

The Publication named Actress and Director Lupita Nyongo as the coveted 'Most Beautiful' in the latest issue. Lupita has been no stranger to complete and utter dominance this year. In his defense of the G I R L album Pharrell even mentions interacting with Lupita and Complimenting her on her "beautiful" skin.

Initially after the backlash, Pharrell referred to the need for black women to see themselves more in media with a bit of insignificance and brushed it off as an insecurity issue to GQ magazine, However he clearly got the point somewhere. The singles cover is beautiful and quite colorful. Lupita who admits she's felt some heat for her darker skin not being seen as beautiful by her peers and colleagues, can definitely attest and is setting a new standard of what beauty truly is among all races of women; Being beautiful inside and out. 

Both of the ladies covers look absolutely gorge, and kudos to the media for seemingly taking the hint that black women want to see more of themselves reflected in the highest regards. Check out Pharrell's radio interview in the video (below):

What do you think of Pharrell's stance on the issue?...and Lupita's Beautiful new cover? Could there really be an insecurity issue among black women that doesn't come from within? Leave a comment below and join in on the conversation on Trey Anthony's Fanpage. Let's Hear it!

Remembering Karyn: For Brown Girls Everywhere

by April D. Byrd

The blog titles on tumblr, can range from edgy and flamboyant to outright explicit, and the content is sure to follow. When I found For Brown Girls on tumblr I knew I had came across something special, not just on a natural level, but on some deeply cosmic, spiritual wave that transcended the confines of the internet. For Brown Girls was a movement living in my soul and Karyn Washington had manifested it into everything I could have ever dreamed. It didn't matter that it was after 1'o clock in the morning. I didn't hesitate to track For Brown Girls down on every social media account that it was active and let them know what it meant to me to have that kind of space and encouragement on the web.  As I followed, "them" turned out to be Karyn...and we connected.

Correspondence and digital smiley faces transferred like nothing through E-mails, Facebook and Twitter, We we're "friends". It was easy. We got each other. I fell in line with regularly posting for FBG. Our genius seemed to be in synch, because the topics Karyn conceived for FBG were exactly what I wanted to write about. I raved about the brilliance of Tika Sumpter in the "Chocolate Spotted" series, and reflected on the depth of lyrics from artists like Keke Palmer, Lauryn Hill, and Erykah Badu in "Motivational Melody" pieces. Karyn was the first to publish my rant about black women no longer being aliens before Blogher picked it up. The Gabrielle Impact highlighted the positive support for Gabby Douglas in the "hair" nonsense and celebrated the rise of Black women in American Society. Karyn reblogged a similar post of mine on tumblr through FBG and it became a hit! Even though I won a contest with it, I never will forget what it felt like, to feel like my voice was getting out to the masses. Karyn...through FBG, made me feel celebrated on so many levels.

Karyn not only helped me, she helped a community of women, by providing a community for women...Brown women. In the beginning when the For Brown Girls movement was catching on and gaining more notoriety, FBG re-tweeted appreciation tweets from women and girls alike, there were a lot! For so many women it was a source of hope and motivation, and in the end, courage. The thought that Karyn took her life to me is so unthinkable, that honestly I still don't believe it. She was MY friend, so full of inspiration and intellect. I find it hard to believe that she did it, but for the same reason I can't believe, I consider the culprit: Intellect. Somewhere in the entanglement of the internet and the wealth of information, geniuses are susceptible to madness. I avoided reading all posts about Karyn until I could fully express how I felt, but in the process thought back to Newsweek's cover story that covered the fate of Jason Russell and the effects of the internet on our brain.

The risk of  i-Disorder is especially high for bloggers and content creators. Working in new media can give us a sense of having to stay "connected" all the time, running the risk of real mental health issues. Seems the world wide web is now buzzing about the importance of mental health, but, my main concern is: How was her support system? That was a goal, and a value that Karyn truly expressed through FBG. The nature of For Brown Girls was to truly build a support system. To quote Dr. Maya Angelou: "Nobody, but nobody can make it out here alone.", a truth that knows no race, no color. In the very sense that Karyn was just a social media acquaintance, I didn't know exactly how to feel when I heard the news. For a few seconds I cried real tears, and wanted to bury myself in pain, but something in the great impact that Karyn's life made wouldn't let me. Karyn had determination, and she had grit, the things I most admired about her. I just knew that one day we would meet in person and become the best of friends, but I'm all the more grateful our souls got to meet, even if it was through the web.

The very last e-mail I got to share with Karyn was a piece I wrote wanting to share with Brown Girls that the play "Da Kink In My Hair" by Trey Anthony had made it's U.S. debut. I got a chance to see the play and thought it was phenomenal. Karyn was excited with me, her last text in the e-mail was a smiley face. I knew we had a spiritual connection from the jump. Within the supernatural that I discovered as I wrote this, was that Karyn sent me a connection request on LinkedIn, before she passed. I was dismayed at first that maybe it was something I could have done to, but in a new light the omen is good because I can. It's a sign to continue to carry the torch. #ForBrownGirls will forever live on! I could feel Karyn's spirit through our interactions, but I could feel Karyn's spirit mostly because of the spirit of her creativity. All in one word Karyn's short autobiography exclaims that "Creativity fueled her being". A few words from my genius friend that exclaims the key of life for all the races and sexes of the world: Stay Creative! Stay Innovative, Stay Cutting edge! and For the sake of  Brown Girls everywhere, be bold, be fierce, and be fearless.

Robin Roberts To Honor Maya Angelou

by: April D. Byrd

Good Morning America reporter Robin Roberts will honor Poet and Author Maya Angelou at the MLB Awards Luncheon. The Major League Baseball Association is sponsoring the luncheon along with their annual Civil Rights game on May 30th. Football legend Jim Brown and Motown Records Founder Berry Gordy will also be honored. Aloe Blacc singer of the notably illustrated "Wake Me Up" and Award-winning Violinist Miri Ben-Ari will be performing.

The MLB Awards Luncheon will pay tribute to people who fight for equal rights and honor the history of racial progress. Roberts will be the keynote speaker for the event.  The Civil Rights Game will be played by the Houston Astros and the Baltimore Orioles in Houston, TX. and will air on the MLB network.

Robin is so strong and she's definitely staying busy, She's also returning to the Oscar's red carpet for the first time since her health crisis.

"To Have My Mojo Back and to be here at  the Oscars. I hope it symbolizes to people who are going through maybe their own personal struggle, whatever it is, to know that this too shall pass."                                       

--Roberts told KMBC-tv in an interview. 

Awesome! Looking forward to seeing Robin this Sunday at the Academy Awards. The Oscars Red Carpet Live! will air from 7 p.m. ET, on ABC and For the first time, ABC will offer a live stream for viewers to watch online. Ellen DeGeneres will also be back to host. Check out Robin's new mojo in her video interview (below).





Will you be watching the Oscars this year? What nominees are you rooting for? Tell us your picks here in the comments section and follow up more on this story on Trey Anthony's Facebook Fanpage. Let's Hear it!

Why We Love Da Kink In Vanessa's Hair

Are you kidding me! A child chooses to wear her hair natural and faces being kicked out of school?!
The story of 12-year-old Vanessa Vandyke facing expulsion for her natural hairstyle has gone viral and made national headlines. Attention was brought to Vanessa's hair when she reported to the school that she was being teased because of it. 

It was originally reported that Vanessa was told she had a week to decide whether to cut her natural hair or leave Faith Christian Academy in Orlando, Fla. Now the school is saying they would just like her to style it differently with claims that is doesn't meet the guidelines of the school handbook. Sabrina Vandyke, Vanessa's mom said she will fight for her daughter's freedom and originality. Most recently the school said Vanessa Will NOT be expelled because of her hair. Singer Elle Varner also wrote a poem "Hair Care" dedicated to Vanessa.

A few months ago 7-year-old Tiana Parker from Oklahoma faced the same issue. Journalist Melissa Harris-Perry had some powerful words of encouragement:

"to all the little brown girls who rock their hair in all its many styles, you are perfect just the way you are and don't be confused, it's whats in your head, that's way more important than whats on your head."

Vanessa loving and embracing her natural beauty is wonderful. Support, Support, Support! Please share the link as well. Kudos to her! Continue to stand firm in your uniqueness.

Check out the video below:

MONDAY MOTIVATION: What Does A "Hater" Look Like?

We always hear about "haters", the "jealous ones", those with "green eyes". It seems as if everyone has got some haters but who is doing the actual hating? I saw Gabrielle Union's acceptance speech at an Essence Magazine Black Women in Hollywood Luncheon a couple of months ago and was immediately struck by the rawness and truth of her speech as she spoke about being a "mean girl" in Hollywood.

It struck me, because you look at Gabrielle and you see a beautiful black womyn who is talented, funny and has had the opportunity to star in some great movies. From the outside looking in, there is absolutely no reason to hate. When we think of "haters" we think of the girl behind her computer spouting out unnecessary mean with each tap of her keyboard. Or when we think of "mean girls", we automatically picture those girls from highschool who thought they were better than x, y and z. But, we hardly discuss the silent and subtle hate or negativity that we sometimes inflict on each other because we feel less than the next. This is why Gabby's speech was so powerful because she exemplifies the womyn (like many of us) who has it together yet is still comparing every area of our lives to the next womyn sizing up if we measure up to her.

A truthful thing that Gabrielle mentioned was that because of the way Hollywood is set up and the competitive nature of it, she constantly felt like her light was dimmed in the presence of the glowing light of another womyn. Who hasn't experienced that? You feel confident, pretty, talented, smart and whatever else, until you get around that womyn who seems like she has all of the above and much more. Then you slowly start to shrink and all of the amazing that you felt about yourself begins to diminish. In Gabby's case and in many other womyn's, we choose to tear each other down with reasons why she isn't actually "all that". But by reasoning why the next womyn isn't really all that, what does that do for you? How does that benefit you?

I watched Gabrielle's speech again this weekend because I knew that she along with Alfre Woodard, Phylicia Rashad, and Viola Davis would be on Oprah's 'Next Chapter' speaking about this topic and the frustrations that black actresses face. I love the way Gabrielle explained how she left her mean girl ways behind.

Gabrielle told Oprah:

“I think nowadays there is this celebration of, as the kids say, ‘the ratchet… the ratchetness.’ You are supported in tearing other people down. There is a forum for it, there’s a huge spotlight on you to do that. People are like ‘How did you move from being a mean, vindictive, hateful person who couldn’t be happy for other people to embracing and truly being supportive?’ And really it came down to we were in a room, we were at a party and I was holding court because I could turn phrase and be a little slick myself. And I was trashing somebody. You know, just ripping them to shreds, head to toe. And A.J. pulls me to the side and she says, ‘Ok, so how did your life change? Did you get the guy? Did you get the job? Is your house any bigger? Did money just magically get put in your pocket? What positive happened in your life after you just tore that woman down?”

I suggest you check out her full speech at the Essence luncheon here. It's a must see!

What did you all think of Gabby's speech? Did anything resonate with you? Let's discuss in the comments!

Happy Monday!

Why I Disagree with Jada Pinkett Smith's Question of If White Women Should Ever Grace the Cover of Popular Black Women's Magazines?

The absence of black womyn in mainstream media and specifically on the cover of magazines has been a problem that has lasted for decades and with the exception of a few faces (i.e. Beyonce, Halle Berry, etc) it is still an issue that persists today. This is why I found Jada Pinkett Smith’s latest post that posed the question that if the black community wants to see more diversity on mainstream publications then perhaps black magazines such as Essence, Ebony and JET should consider offering covers to white womyn. She presents the idea of diversity, openness and solidarity amongst womyn which I think is a great idea in theory but the issue is that those 3 magazines specifically were started as a resolution to the gap in the marketplace that failed to tell our stories as womyn of color. There was nowhere to share our unique beauty, experiences and stories, more importantly there was nowhere except these publications that celebrated us.

I’m not opposed to featuring other cultures and races within these magazines because I do believe in diversity. I remember years ago there was an issue over at Essence magazine because a white womyn was hired to be a fashion editor. People were in uproar about this because they believe that black magazines should remain strictly black. I simply think that there can be diversity throughout the staff of the magazines and within the glossy pages of the publications but where I think the line should be drawn at is on the cover. Think of the pride felt by black children to womyn (and men) who see beauty that looks like them consistently smiling on the covers of these pages month after month. It’s always refreshing to see a familiar face smiling back at me when I walk past the newsstand so until mainstream publications start consistently putting our beauties from Kerry Washington to Viola Davis on their covers, I am happy keeping the prime real estate of the front cover to beautiful brown faces for now.

Here are Jada's thoughts on this that she posted to her Facebook:

Will there ever be a day in which women will be able to see each other beyond race, class, and culture? There is a question I want to ask today. I’m asking this question in the spirit of thinking outside of the box in order to open doors to new possibilities. These possibilities may be realistic or unrealistic. I also want to make it clear that there is no finger pointing here. I pose this question with the hope that it opens a discussion about how we can build a community for women based upon us all taking a deeper interest in one another. An interest where skin color, culture, and social class does not create barriers in sharing the commonality of being… women. With love and respect to all parties involved, my question is this…if we ask our white sisters, who tend to be the guardians of the covers of mainstream magazines, to consider women of color to grace these covers, should we not offer the same consideration to white women to grace our covers? Should women extend their power to other women simply because they are women? To my women of color, I am clear we must have something of our own, but is it possible to share in the spirit in which we ask our white sisters to share with us? I don’t know the answer and would love to hear your thoughts.

J

What do you think, should white women be featured on the covers of black magazines? Would love to hear your thoughts!

MONDAY MOTIVATION: Isn't It Time To Put To Rest The Myth That Black Eating Disorders Don't Exist?

Loving yourself is a difficult journey – but it is a road worth travelling

- Chivon John

 Guest post by: Safia Bartholomew

Quick, name a black woman who has openly discussed her issues with not loving her body and described her struggles in battling an eating disorder? I'll wait. Nothing comes to mind right? It's hard to think of many examples (if any), because the narrative in the media, throughout our communities and even in academic research omits the story of the black woman who doesn't love her body and who rejects that old "the bigger the better" myth that has become our story. There is a false idea that black women are more comfortable in their bodies than other races. It's popular opinion in our communities that negative body image is "their issue - not ours". For the sisters who look in the mirror and hate what they see, their battle becomes a journey on mute - unheard of and unrecognized.

The expectations of what a black woman's body should look like has simply become ridiculous with the influence of the media and specifically hip hop. The "coke-bottle" figure has become our unrealistic barbie doll standard of what beauty is. While some women are blessed with natural curves, others find it hard to either "build a booty" or to maintain a healthy weight while trying to achieve a plump, round behind and tiny waist. Not to mention on another note, that many of the top black women celebs that we see are often quite thin (e.g. Halle Berry, Kerry Washington). Unrealistically thin or curves for days, the standard for black women's bodies is often far unreachable and sometimes unattainable to achieve in a healthy way.

I heard wellness advocate and speaker, Chivon John, talk about her journey at a workshop that she held last September and thought that her bravery and openness in discussing her own battle with a negative self-image and eating disorder was inspiring, unique and refreshing. Chivon's mission has simply become to continue to love the woman that she sees in her mirror and to encourage other women to take a look as well. Check out what she had to say below about her story and how she learned to love what she sees.

On her journey to feeling good about her body
My journey of learning to love my body came through battling depression, self-loathing and an unhealthy relationship with food. I didn’t make healthy choices with respect to my nutrition and for years I experimented with unrealistic diets including having bouts of binging and purging and even depriving myself of food. 

If I could go back in time, I wish I could tell myself that I was searching for something that didn’t exist in a pair of skinny jeans. Feeling accepted and worthy won’t appear if you have a six-pack and working out solely ‘to look a certain way’ will never feel right unless you get real about the other issues that are really holding you back.

I silently struggled for years but my turning point came in 2008 when I competed in a fitness competition. It was a way to confront my confidence issues by ironically doing the thing that scared me the most, putting my body on display. I competed for about 3 years but it was never about winning or proving that my body looked the best. It ignited my passion to learn more about fitness, nutrition and how amazing it was to look and feel strong.

Being comfortable with yourself is an ongoing journey and I’m happy to say that my focus continues to be learning to accept my flaws and learning to love myself unconditionally.  

Advice to women who struggle with seeing themselves as ugly / fat   
When a woman has an internal narrative that they are not good enough, they usually will have an underlying feeling that they need to do something to ‘fix themselves’ or that are not worthy. In my advice to them I would say that the only thing that needs to be fixed are their beliefs. Take a photo of yourself when you are baby and ask yourself would you call that child ugly or the other vile things you say about yourself?  Buried beneath the pain is an amazing person that you haven’t met yet because your thoughts create a wall that keep you suffering. Remember that you are a special person even on the days when you can’t see it.  

On black women not being the "face" of eating disorders

Even though there is more dialogue about the body image of black women today, I believe that distorted beliefs still exist about eating disorders. I grew up hearing stereotypes such as ‘black girls don’t get eating disorders’ or ‘that’s a white girl thing’ and learned pretty quickly that it’s probably not something I should talk about or even acknowledge was a problem. I’m happy to see that more people especially individuals in the public eye are being more vocal about their struggle because it gives a voice to those who are suffering in silence. The image of a black woman’s body has a lot of history and still to this day there are so many distorted views of who we are and how we should look like. I think that in order to have more of a voice, we need to stand up and share our stories so it will help the people that need to hear them.

Best tips for loving and taking care of your body

Listen to your body – Our bodies often send us cues when something isn’t right. Things like acne, headaches, sudden weight gain or weight lost are usually signs that something isn’t right. Your nutrition can play a big role with that as well and its important to take the time to understand how your body reacts to certain things and take the steps to eliminate anything that doesn’t make you feel your best.

Create a positive body image manifesto – I created one for myself as a personal reminder that I don’t need external validation and to celebrate the qualities I love about myself. I think it’s a great exercise to create your own and use it as a personal affirmation to celebrate how awesome you are.

Don’t give in to negative thoughts – Don’t let your own negative beliefs or comments from others dictate how you feel about yourself. Say that you are amazing, even on the days when you don’t believe it. 

Connect with Chivon for more inspiration and tips over at chivonjohn.com

Happy Monday!