Happy Father's Day: Some of My Favourite Famous Dads

Father's Day doesn't get the same amount of shine that Mother's Day does, but it should. The bond between a great father and his daughter/son is irreplaceable. Alot of times through the media, we don't see many black father represented as the story of the missing "baby daddy" is often the dialogue. So, I wanted to give some shine below to some of my favourite famous daddies that are influential.

Cliff Huxtable on The Cosby Show - the prototype of the best and most unforgettable father on tv.

Will Smith - People have a lot to say about the way that Will and Jada raise their kids, but besides the headlines, doesn't Will seem like a cool dad?

Rev Run - Showing the best of reality tv, Run' wise and cool approach to parenting his 6 kids was awesome to watch.

Jay-Z - We don't know much about this daddy daughter duo but I can bet that Jay-Z is  a great father already.

These are just a few, but who would you add to this list? Leave a comment below and let me know who your favourite famous father is.

MONDAY MOTIVATION: Why Womyn Need to Allow Themselves to Experience the Emotions of Jada Pinkett Smith's 'The Trials of a Fatherless Daughter'

I have to say that as I read Jada's piece that she posted to her Facebook account titled, "The Trials of a Fatherless Daughter", my eyes welled with tears and my heart ached. It's incredibly sad that so many womyn can relate to the hurt and emptiness of feeling fatherless. Growing from little girls who have learned to except the absence of her father's presence in her life to womyn who's inner child yearns to have someone to call "daddy". The womyn who has learned to play it tough and pretend that not having her daddy to call with car issues or any other problem is no big deal, or a man to introduce as "grandpa" to her new baby is okay. To experience that feeling of deep heartbreak and pure joy to see little girls happily playing with their daddies. These are the many emotions that womyn experience everyday because they had to discover life without the emotional love and guide of their fathers.

I love Jada's piece because it's evidence that no matter what position or status that a womyn has achieved in her life, at her core she will always miss that feeling of daddy. And, that's okay. It's not a sign of weakness to allow your emotions to stir. It's just important to recognize, acknowledge and accept your feelings and hurt. Learn that what you had to go without is not okay but perhaps the best that your father could do as a flawed individual himself. Journal about it. Write him a letter and send it. Or don't send it. The point is to allow yourself to observe and experience the pain, and find a way to express these emotions so that you can get back to loving you and loving those around you with a full heart.

Here's Jada's full piece below:

I'm sitting here, and I am hurting today. Now as I tell you this... I don't want pity. I have learned to take pleasure in pain because it is simply a signal that a truth is stirring and I must wake up to find it. And usually for me waking up means letting go of a belief.

That's what happened today because I found a little girl who can't understand why she didn't deserve to have a "daddy" in this lifetime. It hit me this morning that I will never call any man "daddy". It hit me how significant that role is to any girls development and life. All these years I had denied that significance in order to forge ahead. The motto has always been, "Nothing can stop me" and "NEVER let them see you sweat".

The worst part was... I had no one to blame... no one to throw this pain to and say, "YOUR FAULT". But this pain did expose areas of immaturity in my relationships accompanied with unreasonable expectations. It explains why when I hear the sweet voice of my daughter call her father "daddy" my heart cries with joy and pain all at once. And it did explain my incompleteness. Yes, this Virgo woman is incomplete. What a horrifying but fulfilling admittance.

This is the void I will have to reconcile without blaming two men, my father and step father, who did the best they could. And no... sometimes our best is NOT good enough, but... the capacity of the human heart and the Great Spirit that breathes within it... makes it all... well.

Thanks for listening:)

And...lovelovelove on your children.

Happy Monday!

MONDAY MOTIVATION: Dear Gabby Douglas, Waiting for Your Father's Apology Will Not Heal Your Hurt

Guest Blog By: Safia Bartholomew

Gabby Douglas won the hearts and respect of the world this past summer when she made history as an Olympic gold medalist for the American gymnastics team. But, an unfortunate story that was also discussed throughout this time (besides the ridiculous criticism of her hair) was of her absentee father. This is of course a story that many little girls and women around the world can relate to. 

She recently revealed to People magazine that although her father wasn't present in her life, he did attend the Olymipc games to cheer her on. But, it was a text message from him after the games requesting for her to "autograph some things for me" that broke her heart. She reveals that she now wants an apology from him. I sincerely hope that her father does apologize for the hurt that he caused her. But, the unfortunate case is that in most cases she won't get it. There are plenty of grown women today that are still waiting on apologies from their daddies. There are so many more people in general that are anticipating the day that the person who did them wrong will finally apologize and accept responsibility. They too are still waiting.

See the thing is,  I think we have all been set up since our kindergarten days to believe that once someone hurts us they will automatically apologize. Remember when Johnny kicked you in the playground and your teacher would come running over demanding that Johnny apologize. He would say sorry begrudgingly but his apology would give you instant satisfaction and you could carry on about your day. As we grow up, we come to realize that life without a moderator to demand apologies for us means that the apologies come far and few between. So what do we do now? How can we move on when the person we care about/ once cared about is still out there seemingly not acknowledging the pain they caused.

One of the hardest things to do is to let go and forgive the people that hurt you the most. You replay their wrongdoings over and over in your head like a clip out of a bad movie. These people have claimed space in your heart and mind, holding you hostage from truly being free and as happy as you deserve to be. I've had friends in my life that I've allowed to take up space in my mind, as I sit waiting for them to make it right. But, Oprah said something awhile back that really stood out to me and I try to remember everytime those terrible movie clips decide to hit replay again. She described the story of an ex-friend who she harbored much hurt and anger towards for many years. Basically, one day she was out shopping and she saw that very person laughing outside of a Tiffany store having a good time. She was in shock and could not believe how happy that person was. I love this story! Doesn't that illustrate exactly how it feels to be so affected by someone who has clearly moved on and is living and enjoying their life meanwhile you are stuck in rewind?

This isn't to say that Gabby just needs to simply move on. But, she does need to forgive her father and accept that he is going to be the way he is until he decides to change. Who knows when he will finally wake up and decide to be a father. In the meantime, she needs to find peace with it and enjoy this incredible journey that she is on whole-heartedly.

As some motivation for this week, if you are dealing with the wrongdoings of others still haunting you let the following words from Maya Angelou soak in as you set yourself up to clear some emotional space for 2013.

In the sweet shadow of Thanksgiving I am giving forgiveness to everyone I thought ill treated me. I want to enter the Christmas month with a clean slate. I want to think that everyone I know can enter the last month of this year free of any ill will between us. Let us all go into December 2012 free, giving and expecting the good thing.

 I'm ready to start December off with a clean slate.Who's up to join me? Let me know your thoughts on the Gabby Douglas situation. Also, what are you going to do to start this last month of the year to let go of any resentments towards others. Meet me in the comment section to discuss.

 HAPPY MONDAY!!