when you're in it

Sorry it's been a while.... but been a bit busy producing a "little" play. Secret's officially opened on Friday. The night before our faces were on the cover of this week's NOW. Plastered all over the city. It's been an experience. I can't believe that it's actually here that I'm in the middle of a theatrical run. The experience has been mind blowing, exciting, and tiring.... I've experienced an ocean of emotions from pride, joy, tears, despair, and laughter. Producing theatre is like playing Russian Roulette. You can't predict what the audience will like. You can't forecast how many tickets they will buy. You don't know what critics will say. Everything is a huge question??? But so far Toronto has embraced Secrets. People love it, the reviews have been strong and now we're down to five more shows. I'm aware of the fact that I keep saying to myself soon this will be over and already my thoughts are racing. I'm moving on to planning the next event. Already thinking about next week, next month, next year. Thinking about everything instead of being in this MOMENT. But I'm trying to remain focus and be in the moment. Because I've been guilty of this in the past, not truly enjoying the moment because I'm already racing to start the next project. And I know I must be present in THIS. I'm trying to let go of any attachment to the outcome and just be in this moment. Because this is a historical moment, to see Black men on stage. This is my baby brother's first play! This is the first thing that I have ever produced on my own..... So i need to enjoy every minute. Be present. Be present. Be present.....I affirm this every day. I don't want to miss a thing. I'm in this. I'm in the now. I'm HERE. Right HERE........

do you want to be a loser?

I'm coming off my Oprah high.... trying however to relish every moment of it. People have heard about my Oprah experience and have called me tenacious, gutsy, and bold. I have been questioned on where within me did this boldness come from. I have to give some credit to two major figures in my life. My mother and my grandmother. We don't always see eye to eye but what we do have in common is a belief that anything is possible. My mother is one of the bravest womyn that I know. If something isn't working for her she just calls it a day and gets the hell out. My mother has moved from Jamaica, England, Canada, Florida back to Canada and then back to Florida! She is not a person who is scared of change. I think this is one of the qualities that she has passed onto me. Never get attached to anything that may hinder your growth.
My grandmother released a reggae album at age 76! Why because she could and wanted too! She used her pension money to pay for studio time and then went into hairdressers and barber shops to sell her c.d out of her handbag. Her tenacity paid off . Her record became a hit in Jamaica and she has appeared on a major England talk show and has been featured in numerous newspapers! 76 years old! Now she has a dream to be on the t.v show the X factor and I have no doubt in my mind that she will do it.
Yesterday I was talking to my grandmother and I was feeling discouraged about a few things in my life and my grandmother gave me one of her famous blunt pep talks. She said in her heavy Jamaican accent which I love to imitate, "trey if you quit now you would be a loser! Do you want to be a loser?" Even as I write this I have to laugh! I love my grandmother's infamous one liners of inspiration more than any daily affirmation books, more than any quotes of inspiration from Oprah. My grandmother's inspiration talks are short, blunt and very cutting, but they work! And I know I wouldn't have gotten this far without having to refer to them daily in my life. Yesterday I went through my day, saying, Hey trey you're not a loser! Every time I said it, I burst out laughing! It really lifted my spirits.
I encourage you to check out my grandmother video, yes my grandmother is on Youtube! What's your excuse! Don't quit on yourself or your dreams because as granny said, "Do you want to be a loser?

the conclusion

the power of manifestation

Me and Oprah in the T.Dot!

I'm a true believer that nothing ever happens before it's due time. So lately I have become very calm, composed and relaxed in my pursuit to meet Oprah. I have faith it will happen when it needs to. I cannot rush a process. I have done everything in my power to ensure this meeting occurs while she is here. I have called in favors, sent emails, made youtube clips, done a facebook group, a petition etc and I thank those who have supported my efforts. And now I realize it's bigger than me. I must have faith in a higher source to ensure this "Meeting" will happen. And if it doesn't happen then it will happen when the time is right. I'm at peace with that.

Last night I had a dream that Oprah was on stage and called my name from the audience and said of course I wouldn't come all of this way without meeting you, you're the "Oprah" of Canada!

Tonight I have tickets for the Precious screening! Oprah's movie, she is suppose to be there. So I'm excited. Being that I read the book Push many years ago and it had a profound effect on me, so I'm glad to see it's evolution into film. Very proud to see black faces on screen. Apparently I'm in the Priority seating section. So I'm unsure what this means but I hope it means I'm close enough to see her.

If I do meet her, I would like to shake her hand, maybe give her the documentary of 'da Kink. But if this doesn't happen I can say I'm proud of my efforts.

I'm also hosting the CBFF party tonight and rumor has it that Ms Winfrey will be there..... so I will keep you posted. Come out and party with me tonight if you're in Toronto!

I now have people reading my blog in Austria! Wow! A big shout out to my fans in Austria! Thanks to everyone for your support!

blessings

trey

Warning Limited positivity here...

My back aches.... really hurts. I suffer from extreme back ache. Usually my back flares up when I'm under extreme stress. I also know that when I feel unsupported my back usually seizes in a huge big knot. It's how the emotional plays out in the physical. And for myself I know there is a huge connection. I also know my back ache is related to dealing with major stress in the last few days. And I can clearly pinpoint who these stress factors are. Lately I have been dealing with two individuals who for lack of a better words are Assholes! I don't use that word lightly and believe me I have racked my writer's brain to come up with a more descriptive and better word for them, but it comes down to simply they are ASSHOLES! So sorry it may not be the positivity that you were looking for from me while drinking your morning coffee and singing your daily affirmations!

And in my interactions with these two individuals on each occasions I have prayed, I have meditated, I have affirmed. I have tried being nice, then super sweet and Miss cherry bowl of positivity, then I switched to be firm. And now I can barely bring myself to grunt their names and the sight of an email from them in my inbox turns my stomach and my back seizes up.

I also realize for myself I cannot give them so much power to have such a physical and emotional effect for me. So I have been working on this but it's hard. Also I am a firm believer that what is happening in your life you attracted, so I have to really look and see what has made me attract these ASSHOLES in my life! So I've become reflective and I say to myself calmly, "trey why do you have two ASSHOLES in your life!"

I look back and the lessons I have learned and I share them with you all:

1. To avoid "misunderstanding" in any business interaction get it clearly written down on paper. Never ever rely on the fact that you believe that people are decent and will just do the right thing. Never rely on the fact that they will do XY and Z, because they said it, it will be done..... That is not the case. As a young black women doing business I have clearly seen how people will take advantage of you, be dismissive, and not do the "right" thing. So the lesson learned from this is get it written down. Have a clear and precise contract before moving ahead with anything. Be firm on this and don't allow people to give you the run around on having a contract because a clear contract will alleviate all misunderstandings. It's a huge lesson for me and a mistake I will never ever repeat again.

2. When someone shows you who they are believe them. I think Maya Angelou said this and it is so true. Never believe you are the exception to the rule. And always analyze how someone treats people who they deem as beneath them. If someone is dismissive or just plain rude to service staff such as waiters or their employees they will eventually do the same to you. In reflection of what has happened to me I remember my first interaction with one of these ASSHOLES. He was very nice to me. Too nice but when we went out to our first meeting he was very rude to our waiter. I made excuses for him in my head, instead of just seeing him for who he really was, an arrogant ASSHOLE!

And on further reflection with my interaction with ASSHOLE number two, I remember receiving a call from two individuals who told me he treated his staff horribly and that he wasn't a nice person and had ripped off a few people in the industry. Red flag maybe??? Yet I argued back, well he was very NICE to me and who hasn't been the "Victim" of people saying nasty things about you that aren't true! So i chose to give ASSHOLE number two the benefit of the doubt.

Yes, I chose to ignore these flags because they just treated ME so nice...... and also because I'm a true believer that everyone can change--- right?

So I will take full ownership for the ASSHOLE behavior in my life. The universe has sent me a clear message and it is a lesson learned. I will try to forgive myself for the "mistakes" that I have made and they will no longer be "mistakes" if I learned something from it.

The lesson Learned.... ASSHOLES can disguise themselves as NICE, but eventually they just are ASSHOLES! Ok, I'll end on positivity..... um...um... this is hard! Ok. Secrets opens Sept 23 buy your ticket! lol

So it's 6am. Most mornings I wake up eager to meet the world but today I woke up and I would call it a "faithless" moment. Not having much faith in myself to achieve much of anything...... I know we've all had those days when you just feel as if just the act of breathing is too much! I was trying my best to shake it. I prayed, became silent, talked to myself, gave myself a "trey pep talk." It didn't work.... Today just wasn't the day. So I went online and in my inbox was my newsletter from Oprah, and one of the headlines was a sneak interview she did with the rapper Jay Z. In this interview, he shared that at age 13 he was selling crack and by 30 he was a business mogul and self made millionaire. He changed the direction of his life, however, many people from his neighborhood were either dead or in jail. Oprah asked, how was this possible and he said,

"There's the gift, there's the spirit, and there's the work—all three have to come together. If one of those things is off, it can stop you from becoming who you were meant to be."

That really inspired me. Because I thought to myself I must aknowlege my gifts, listen and
feed my spirit and be willing to do the work...... I cannot afford to make one of these things to be off

exciting news

I'm working from home today because i'm sick and spent yesterday coughing and sneezing all over the cast. But I couldn't miss the first day of rehearsals! I'm so excited! And now I'm in high gear for our promotions for secrets. 22 days to go! Wow!
So here's our trailer. Yes trailer for a play! Movieplay? Yes i will say i coined the term. Some day i hope in herstory people will say trey anthony did it first. She took it to another level she turned theatre into a movie! Movieplay! I thought that Secrets had all the elements of a movie and I wanted to change the way people responded to theatre, especially young people. I wanted this play to have all the hype of a blockbuster Hollywood movie. So I'm excited that the buzz on this trailer is HYPE at it max! I can't take all the credit though big up to Marc Lostracco, and Gavin Bailey, the dream team! You can have a vision but you have to have people who can execute it. So here it is Secrets of a black boy changing the face of theatre!

You can check out the trailer here

Heres an interview I did for ET Canada earlier this year talking about my recent weight loss.

People ask me all the time what exactly do I do for Secrets? What is my role? I tell them I'm the Executive Producer. This is usually greeted with a blank stare....

It's hard to really define what I do in a nut shell. But I will say my main role has been ensuring that this play happens by any and all means necessary. Yes I'm the Malcolm X of theatre! We were turned down by nearly every arts council in Canada for funding, and maybe the thoughts of seeing six black men being on stage in non-stereotypical roles just weren't appealing to them. So after firing off a passionate (I like passionate instead of angry email) to the arts councils telling them that I didn't need their damn money that I would do the shit myself! I realized, "hey trey you've got to do this shit yourself!" That's when I realized it's sink or swim time!

Financing this project has been a huge commitment, one of my biggest financial commitments next to my mortgage! My mom who is a real estate agent in Florida told me that houses are now selling there for $80,000 to $130,000. I had to admit for a moment my stomach hit the floor when I realized I could have bought a summer house in Florida instead I decided to finance my brother's play! On paper it doesn't sound smart but in my heart, soul and everything within me, it feels like the right thing to do.
Why, because I believe in this. And I believe we have to take risks. Risks that make no sense to anyone.

My other role as Executive Producer is to ensure that I hire the right people to execute Darren, the playwright's vision. Yesterday I was in the studio listening to the music that has been created for Secrets and I nearly wept with joy. We have a team of creative geniuses. Genius is not a word I use lightly. But I will use it in this case even capitalize it. GENIUS. Many of Toronto's best kept secrets, are working on Secrets. *No pun intended*.

Brilliant minds, filled with passion. One of the things that I know about myself is I want people around me who want to think outside the box, want to take a chance, want to create, people who live and breathe innovation. People who are teaching me something new every day. I'm a talent whore! I want people around who blow me away by their talent! People who if I had it, I would pay them even more than their standard contract fees because they are so great at what they do! My job as Executive Producer, is to hire them and get out of their way! This has been challenging for me because I'm a bit of a control freak. I love to give my opinions. I love to have the last word. I love to think that my way is the best way. But I am learning to let people do their jobs! Once again I rely on my faith. Faith to know that the universe has brought us all together to create something wonderful.

My other role which I think has been one of the hardest is to let everyone know that they are appreciated and that this is a team effort. A lot of the time I get all the fame and the glory but I roll deep! Translation for my mom who reads my blog: I got a strong team behind me!
And as a leader I want to ensure that everyone on my team feels that without them none of this would be possible. From the interns who run out to grab me lunch because I've forgotten to eat because I've been in meetings all day with sponsors- I thank you. Brittney who designed this wonderful blog and given me an outlet to vent. The marketing team including the cast, who hit the pavement with their fliers and Secrets t-shirts. My bookkeeper who manages to somehow find the extra $300 dollars so we can buy God knows what now!!! Our "branding" wizard Marc who does it for the love because for sure it can't be the money! Beth, Jackie, and Erika who meet with me weekly and continuously ask, "trey what can we take off your plate.... " I love you for that.
Krystle, Krista, my assistants and silver lining team who always see the sun through the clouds. Kimahli for always pulling another trick out of his sleeve to make words jump off the page and come alive on stage! All the designers and the folks behind the scenes who are are bringing this show to another level I can't express my gratitude and awe at what you do. And Darren... my "little" brother Darren his six-foot-three self leans over to my five-foot-one self and says to me, "I know I'm in good hands" Little brother, your faith in me makes me know I cannot fail.

I "work" sixteen hours days seven days a week. But I love what I do because I love the people I work with. I always say to my staff anytime this starts to feel like "work" do us all a favor and leave! I want you here but I want you to WANT to be here. I want you a part of this team because this is the only place that you want to be. And being a part of Secrets is the only place I want to be.
So I don't have a summer house in Florida but I got a lot more.....