Hands Up In The Air

By: Trey Anthony




4.5 minutes after I read that a grand jury decided not to indict officer Darren Wilson, I sent a text to my sister in North Carolina.

"You need to get my baby out of that f*&&ing racist place called the U.S. south!" 

'My baby' being my one year old precious baby nephew. A few weeks before my sister had sent me a video of my nephew at a Yo, Gabba Gabba concert, a one year old at his first live musical concert! He is wiggling and dancing in my sister's lap. Dimpled fat cheeks, laughing, eyes wide open, hands up in the air. I watched that video on repeat, laughing, tears rolling down my cheeks.

My sister and I text back and forth debating on where is the safest place to raise a young black boy. What city can he be guaranteed a chance to reach manhood? We can't think of one... 

The absurdity of our conversation is not lost on me, neither is the realism of the conversation; we are trying to save a life. Later, my mother weighs in on the conversation, after all, this is her first and only grandchild. She has the audacity to want this little boy to live.  She has plans to attend his foot ball games, piano recitals, graduation, perhaps some day if she allows herself to dream boldly... his wedding. We know if we do not act soon we will run out of time. My mother shares that she has read on the internet that Hawaii has the least amount of black men in prison, plus she assures me that President Obama was raised there.  Do we dare to hope that he could live? And perhaps some day even be president? We quickly do the math. My sister had three more years to finish her PHD, and then as a family, we can swiftly make our exodus to Hawaii!  We speak in hushed, nervous but excited tones.  I swallow the rising bitterness that begins to swell in my throat and grow in my heart as the realization hits me that this is a conversation my white friends will never ever have to have with their mother or sister. In three more years my precious baby will only be four years old. His black skin and maleness will not yet be deemed a threat. Now when he puts his hands up in the air, he is an adorable, dancing baby. For now he is safe...

I read the transcripts of Mike Brown's friend, Dorian Johnson, who was with him the day he was gunned down by officer Wilson.  I learn that Mike Brown also had his hands up in the air,  as officer Wilson fires several shots which hit Mike Brown's,black body, two of them in his head. Before he falls to the ground, Mike Brown, gasps, " I don't have a gun..."   

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As I continue to read, the ever present black fatigue threatens to overtake me again; the bitterness I can no longer swallow.  Hawaii seems too far away. I fear that we are running out of time.  I know with certainty that death can creep upon black boys lives in an instant, when they are on their way home from buying skittles, or as twelve year olds playing in a park, or when their hands are up in the air.  I know their lives aren't worth much. No matter have many hash tags are now trending I know that #blacklivesdontmatter. 

But I need my precious baby's life to matter.  It has to matter!  I'm haunted by Travon Martin, Mike Brown, and Tamir Rice. I wonder if their families ever planned an exodus to Hawaii. I wonder if their mothers quickly did the math. I wonder if they knew they were running out of time. I wonder if black fatigue overtook them. I wonder if they knew their son's lives didn't matter. I wonder what was Mike Brown's last thoughts before he was gunned down with his eyes wide open, his hands up in the air....I replay over and over the video of my baby, he is dancing, laughing, eyes wide open, his hands up in the air. Tears rolling down my cheeks.

A New Film Discusses Gender Roles & Stereotypes

The team behind the film "Miss Representation" will be producing a new documentary "The Mask You Live In" which will be an exploration of American Masculinity. The film shows how boys and men can sometime be pushed into stereotypical or domineering roles. This film definitely looks promising and is a step up in gender and cultural discourse.  Sometimes certain mind-sets seem even more prevalent within the African-American community. Black men may have complexes that it's ok to cheat, the more girls you're with sexually makes you a man, or constantly being told not to cry, show any feelings or emotions because it makes them "weak".

However, it's not just black men given these paradigms, they affect men of all cultures.When men feel they're forced to act a certain type way it can cause confusion, miss-communication, and dissonance in society as a whole. The Representation project is debuting the film this year. What are your thoughts on the upcoming documentary?


Check it out in the video (trailer) below:

MONDAY MOTIVATION: A Conversation We Need to Have with Our Sons

My heart has been heavy since the verdict in the Trayvon Martin case came back not guilty. My social media feeds were immediately filled with people expressing everything from outrage, to shock, disappointment, justification and joy. It's honestly in times like these that you really get to see the minds and hearts of the people you choose to surround yourself with in life and even in your social media life. Many, expressed how appalled they were by the insensitivity of many of their friends or followers. Thankfully, my friend list is filled with people who are like minded so I only saw comments expressing the same kind of hurt that I was (regardless of their race).

This case was a very controversial and charged case because it had people on such polar ends of the spectrum with their thoughts and opinions. The case dug up issues of race, class, white privilege, stereotypes, and so many more 'isms' and limitations that many thought were problems of yesteryear. This case and the final verdict proved that there is a long way to go before these issues will be gone for good (if ever).

The one thing that became dramatically clear throughout all of this is that there is an important conversation to be had with our children (especially our young boys) about what this all means for them. I think all races and cultures need to have a conversation but the content of the discussion will vary from household. From this verdict, it is easy for young black men and boys to feel that their life has no value here. That even when they are the victim, they will be persecuted and treated as the criminal. Leading to many internalizing issues of self worth and creating an attitude where they do not want to cooperate with authority (because what's the point?). There is an important conversation that needs to be had in black households that reminds our children that yes we have come far because we have a black president and many more positive representations of black people in top positions, but there are still many ignorant people out there that still on see the color of your skin as a threat.

Black boys need to be told that there is always a possibility that they will be tried by someone who sees their skin color as a threat and as a criminal. In these instances, they need to keep their wits about them. Focus on surviving.

We need to remind our boys that the best way to shift people's views about you is to create excellence in yourself. Be educated, be talented, be your best. Also, be educated about the legal system and know your rights (very important!).

And, the last thing that we need to tell our boys is that they do have value and they are worthy. No matter what anyone says or society tries to make you feel, you are important. Racism is a complex issue that is part of a larger social context that is ingrained in the minds of many people but that is something wrong them not you.

I'm so heartbroken for Trayvon's family and for the message that it sends our children but I have faith and believe that this is a teachable lesson for us all that we need to continue to have these conversations and mentor our youth. Keep them close to us.

Darren Anthony's play, Secrets of a Black Boy, will be on stage in Toronto on July 27th and he is introducing a community forum for the first time after his matinee performance. In light of the discussion that has been brought up again  with the Trayvon case, Darren along with community activists want to create an open discussion with  youth in the community to share their struggles and frustrations.

To find out more info about the play and forum or to purchase tickets, go to:  https://secretsofablackboy.eventbrite.ca/?nomo=1

Happy Monday!