I'm Exercising, People! Day 1

by Ajike Akande

When I arrived at the library today to write this week’s post, I thought I’d write about this article that has been circulating on Facebook about a mom who stopped yelling at her kids after she realized how it affected them.  I realized quickly, that I really didn’t want to write a post about how bad the article made me feel about the loud, probably soul-crushing, parenting I inflict on my kiddos.  I would really like to be a non-yelling parent, and I think I actually try hard not to yell, but I’m not there yet. If it’s any comfort to all of you, the more out of control yelling I do (is there such a thing as controlled yelling?), the more in-mommy’s-face laughing from my kiddos.  They think it’s hilarious to see me and Wife lose it on them.  While this is seriously annoying, I’m glad that their souls are not being entirely crushed by our yelling!

Then I thought I’d write about our Miss O who is going through such a hard time right now.  The wind down of the school year, its eventual end and the beginning of summer has left our beautiful O-Bear, who has Sensory Processing Disorder and rests on the diagnostic cusp of high functioning autism, is so out of sorts.  She pushes and hits when she doesn’t mean to because she just can’t help herself, and she “disappears” when life feels like it's all too much.  So I thought I’d write about Miss O but then “Fix You” by Coldplay started playing on iTunes, and the people at the big table in the library got to watch me cry and try to pull myself together.  Needless to say, I’ll have to get back to you about our girl. 

Oh here’s the song if you are sitting in a public place and you are in need of a cry.  http://youtu.be/k4V3Mo61fJM

Those two topics are out for today, so I have no choice but to share this beautiful photo with you along with an explanation for why I was wearing this get-up. 

I don’t know if you've heard, but just because parenting is exhausting and quite frankly, can make you sweat, it is not actually exercise.  I feel like I’ve been tricked!  With this new-to-me info in my back pocket, I’m making some changes.  Last night was Day 1 of my “Walking With Mike (Michael Moore)” adventure.  You see I have been giving this exercise thing a great deal of thought over the past, oh I don’t know, three years!  Sure I have tried a few times to get back into Nia (dance) classes, but seriously, I have not exercised in years. 

Truth is, I hate exercising.  Really, really hate it.  The only type of exercise I actually enjoy is dancing, but attending dance classes requires that I follow someone else’s schedule, be on time (not my specialty) and plan to leave the house.  That is a lot of work for someone who isn’t really into exercise in the first place.  Joining a gym?  Well joining is not the problem.  I’m a joiner at heart but going to a place, to do something I hate, alongside people who seriously look like they are experiencing their own slice of heaven, is not my cup of tea (or wine, which actually makes more sense, as I like wine way more than I like tea).  And I can’t take up running because honestly, I won’t even run for the bus.  Heck, I’d consider other options before running away from someone chasing me! 

Clearly, many forms of exercise have been ruled out by yours truly, who has been happily exercising my right to lie on the couch and watch TV.  I know that moving the body with some level of vigor is really good for one’s physical and mental health, so after lying on the couch googling “how to motivate yourself to exercise,” I flipped onto Facebook and saw a Michael Moore post about walking for 30 minutes every day.  Apparently people all over have started virtually walking with him and of course tweeting about it with the hashtag #walkwithmike.  Well, I love me a good bandwagon so I’ve decided to hop on – minus the tweeting.  I don’t get Twitter. 

So, last night I went for my first walk.  Not wanting to over do it with some fancy “See, I’m exercising outfit”, I slipped on a sports bra under my spaghetti strap dress, shoved my feet into my new runners, which I purchased only because they’re awesome looking, grabbed my iPod that I purchased years ago for the sole purpose of exercising, and put on my 7 year old’s Angry Birds headphones.  “Oh no you didn’t!”  “Oh Yes I did!”  I listened to music I haven’t heard in ages, walked briskly, bopping my head along with my tunes and thought about what treat I was going to have after my 30 minute walk.  Best part?  I came home sweaty!  Thank you very much! 

Now, don’t go thinking that one day is hardly a new exercise regime.  We are not here to discourage.  One problem though, it’s day two and it’s pouring rain.  I don’t know if I am serious enough about this Walking With Mike thing to do it even when it’s raining!  Alright, I am officially on an exercise kick, except when it’s precipitating or too cold, or too hot, or I’d rather watch Orange Is The New Black.  Okay, that last one is a bit pathetic.  Friends, this is happening.  I am exercising.  I’m one of those people! 

XO Ajike

Lace up your shoes and join Michael Moore for a walk

Get moving this new year! Just start with a simple walk! See what Michael Moore talks about...

"I am now in week 42 of my walks. Each day, 30 minutes, that's it. Thousands of you have joined me since that Sunday night on March 18 when, as a joke, I said I was going for a walk. 

I had read that morning in the paper that there were now more people in the U.S. on anti-depressants than those who go to the movies. I tweeted out that maybe that's the problem -- perhaps if people got out and went to the movies more they might feel better. This unleashed a lively conversation about mood-aletering drugs, the lousy movies these days in theaters, the rip-off prices for 3D films, etc. Finally, someone wrote: "Sometimes I think what I need is just a brisk walk." I tweeted, "Hey, there's an idea! I'm putting my shoes on right now." I went out and came back home after 30 minutes -- and a few hundred of you had amazingly joined me where you live. 


So I went walking the next night, probably out of some sort of obligation because so many had written to say "please let's do it again tonight!" So I did. And the night after that. By the end of the week it was hard to determine how many thousands were now going out with me on these "virtual walks" in hundreds of cities and towns, but it had taken off like a rocket and so we all went walking every night from that point on.
Now it's 250 days later. What a simple, great idea that person had! Some have asked, "Why are we walking?" "What's the cause?" There is no cause other than to go for a walk. We do it just because it feels good. We do it because we can. We do it because it's free and it takes no time. All you need to know is how to put one foot in front of the other (or, for the disabled who've joined in, by any means necessary). It's the perfect slacker/schlub activity.

I am often asked "How much weight have you lost from all this walking?" For a while I didn't understand the question. I mean, why would I want to lose anything? I have enough trouble finding my keys! Then I got it -- skinny people (1/3 of the country) want us, the majority, to be like them. That's so nice of them.

But the truth is, exercise does not work, diets do not work, feeling crummy does not work. Nothing works. My advice: Quit trying to be something you're not, be happy with the life you've been given, and just go for a pleasant walk outside. With me. Wherever you are. Get off the treadmill, stop drinking diet Coke, throw out all the rules. It's all a scam and it conspires to keep you miserable. If it says "low-fat" or "sugar-free" or "just 100 calories!" throw it out. Remember, one of the main tenets of capitalism is to have the consumer filled with fear, insecurity, envy and unhappiness so that we can spend, spend, spend our way out of it and, dammit, just feel better for a little while. But we don't, do we? 

The path to happiness - and deep down, we all know this -- is created by love, and being kind to oneself, sharing a sense of community with others, becoming a participant instead of a spectator, and being in motion. Moving. Moving around all day. Lifting things, even if it's yourself. Going for a walk every day will change your thinking and have a ripple effect. You'll find yourself only eating when you're truly hungry. And if you're not hungry, go clean your room, or have sex, or call a friend on the phone. Without knowing it, you'll starting eating like the French (there is no French word for "fast-food") -- and you will feel better. 


You do not feel better admonishing yourself or beating yourself up or setting up a bunch of unrealistic rules and goals with all the do's and don'ts that are just begging to be broken. You wanna know something? I eat ice cream every friggin' day. I drink a regular Coke every single day. I put butter on things. But I also walk every day. Some days now, I walk twice. And now I've started to do some push-ups and lifting stuff. It's building muscle, and in doing so, has created an extra furnace to burn stuff and create energy. Weird! That, in turn, makes me sleep 7-8 hours a night which is another game-changer. And all the walking and lifting makes me thirsty, so that makes me drink more water -- another huge plus!

I have no idea how much weight I've lost and I don't care. I don't care about that or diets or home gym equipment or rules about what I can or cannot eat or anything other than making sure I go on my walk today. That's it. That's the big secret. It costs nothing. I feel great. I can see my feet! There they are! Hello, feet! Wanna go for a walk? The feet say YES! Ask yours right now. And if you want, join me. But do NOT go on that walk with me if you are doing so to "get fit", "be healthy", or "lose weight". You are fine just the way you are. Only walk outside with me right now because you know it might just feel good, because it's a beautiful day, or someone is joining in with you, the fresh air is invigorating, you have to drive down to the drug store but you realize you can walk there, or simply because it's just nice to be alive for one more day. Walk to walk and nothing else -- and the other stuff will take care of itself."

Will you be joining Michael Moore for daily walks? Does knowing that it's not about losing weight or getting fit make you more likely to keep at it? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

PS. Make sure you check back in to the blog on Monday as I will be announcing more details about the workshop. There will be an amazing line-up of panelists that is guaranteed to benefit all you artists. Stay tuned!