I can’t believe you’re so dumb!
Wow that was stupid!
You look huge!
You need to be more disciplined! Then you would be further ahead!
You're not tired you are just being lazy?
Your hips are huge!
You’re getting fat!
I am embarrassed and even somewhat ashamed to admit that I have said all of the above to myself on many occasions. The harsh and awful things that I say to myself I would never say any of these things to any of my friends. I would not even dream about saying any of these things to someone I strongly disliked!
Lately, I've really started to become more aware of how I speak to myself. Being more aware of that critical voice in my own head. Whenever, I catch myself saying negative things inside my head I actually say them aloud and apologize to myself and re-frame the negative talk to something much more supportive and encouraging. For ex: now instead of saying, Wow, Trey that was stupid! I now say, Wow trey, you’re doing the best that you can. Good for you for trying!
In order, to find a more gentle and kinder way to speak to myself, I now have instructed myself to speak to me, as I would a four year-old little girl. I chose four years old because I believe that four is such a tender and precious age. An age where you are curious about life, an age where you’re still trying to figure things out, and sometimes you get it right and sometimes you don’t. I wanted to encourage the four year old in me to be ok with sometimes “messing up.” I wanted her to know that whatever she does she will be loved. I wanted her to know that she is loved and supported. I wanted to be gentle, and extremely kind with that little girl and it hasn't been easy but I’m getting better at it. Less critical, and more encouraging.
So, I ask you today, to be gentle, and kind not only to others but most of all to yourself~ Imagine that today is a brand new day to start a love affair with yourself! Thus, talk to yourself, as if you are worthy to be loved and cherished…
Blessings,
T
Excellent post! I just logged in to blogger to write an entry to myself about how stupid I am & ran across your post. Thank you! I have made the same mistake multiple timespan. So I'm either insane or destined to have a child as a single mother. I will be more gentle with myself. I will speak kindly to myself. Again thank you for your words.
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