When it comes to friendships, many womyn fear being too close to the light with the fear of being outshone. Meaning that when choosing other womyn to be around, many steer clear of those who's light shines the brightest - powerful, beautiful, talented, smart, etc. Now, I don't believe the hype that the media would have you buy into that all womyn are insecure, catty and jealous of each other. I rarely meet womyn who are out to tear each other down or who don't appreciate having a circle of great girlfriends. While I don't buy into the catty womyn theory, I do believe that many womyn avoid befriending those who are seemingly intimidating. They may not be as quick to befriend the beautiful girl standing in the centre of the room that everyone seems to be staring at, or the successful sista who's calling all the shots at work...there are many more scenarios like this but I think that we can sometimes suffer from comparison syndrome. And when it feels too incomparable, some womyn tend to stay away.
I was reading a great article over the weekend over at The Cut, called The Shine Theory: Why Powerful Women Should Befriend Each Other. I thought it was a great piece because it spoke about how society is set up to make us feel as if there aren't enough opportunities, love interests, etc. to go around for everyone when in actuality there is if you shift your perspective. If you look at the womyn who is on top as less intimidating and more as an ally and great resource then your friendships will be richer because there isn't that factor of competition or resentment.
I like to keep my circle of womyn and men all people who I feel are inspiring, uplifting and successful in all levels. I want some of that to rub off on me! It's also an exchange because where I can be a resource to some, I also know that I can go to my friends for advice on other things. We are all great in different ways so there is no feeling of competition. I truly believe that you should surround yourself with womyn that you admire and those who will push you to be better than you currently are. If you keep yourself with people who don't scare you (in a good way), push you or motivate you, then you are too comfortable.
Just think about it, the closer the proximity you are to the sun the hotter you get and the more you shine and glow. Remember that when that small voice in your head tells you that the womyn over there is too pretty, too successful, too intelligent or too whatever to be your friend. You only shine brighter when you stay closer to people who are great. Befriend them!
Happy Monday!
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