And as I thought about that, I was reminded of a poem by a friend of mine. Her name is Zakiya Toby and she wrote a great poem called 'Forgive Me'. It talks about freeing yourself from the bounds of the guilt of trying to please everyone and the joy there is in putting yourself first for a change. While not every line applies to my life, the overall message really resonated with me. The poem is below and I think you will enjoy it.
Zakiya has also written a book called From My Heart To Yours, and it's available on amazon.com. You know that I think it's important to support upcoming local talent and she is a talented poet with a distinct point of view.
Forgive
me
Lately I’ve been accused
Accused of crimes against humanity
And I must confess...I’m GUILTY
So now I stand before the court
To beg for forgiveness
Please forgive me…yes forgive me for
not being the person you think I should be
Cuz I’m too busy being the person God
intended for me to be
Cuz sometimes I need to take care of
me and my home
Sometimes I can’t take the time to
take care of all your problems
While mine stand in the cold
shivering
I’m sorry!
Forgive me because our relationship started
off on the wrong foot
It was my fault and I take full
responsibility
I shouldn’t have lent you an ear when
you needed advice
A hand when you were down
And a shoulder to cry on
Being who I am I didn’t set the
boundaries
You apparently needed
See, you thought that was my place
That my purpose was to feed you and
for that...
My deepest apologies!
I’m also sorry for being busy
Busy taking care of a wounded soul
A broken bruised and fragile soul
That needs nurturing more than you’ll
ever know
I’m sorry for letting you think that
I was always OK
Truth is that I was not
But somehow found the inner strength
to
Push past my now to peer into
tomorrow
So that hope
Rises through my core
Stirs up something on the inside
And oozes through my pores
Whatever you feed will surely grow
And instead of growing the weeds and
wounds
I choose to cultivate life!
Just because I smile, doesn’t mean
I’m not in pain
I choose to put my best foot forward
Because that’s where it belongs
In front
But in the last little while
It’s been dangling behind me
Begging to see the sun
But I was too busy clearing the weeds
From your garden
That I neglected to tend to mine
Again I’m sorry
Truth
is
I'm
a single mama
With
very little help
Who
is on the grind every damn day for her seed
Working
all kinds of jobs
To
keep the tops of our heads dry
And make the hunger pangs subside
So
forgive me perhaps,
If
I don't have the time to take the pieces of your life
And
glue them back together after you threw down the glass
I’m
sorry but I’m just too busy
Too
busy taking care of me
Or busy planning
Or busy trying to forget how lonely it is sometimes
Or busy planning
Or busy trying to forget how lonely it is sometimes
Because
it sure can be lonely
But
you wouldn’t know because
You
talk too damn much to
Listen
for just a second
Now,
I’m busy
Busy building an empire
Busy building an empire
Perfectly
positioning each and every brick
Busy
creating a legacy that stretches
Past
the generations of my mind’s eye
Busy
writing my story, my future
When you’re sleeping...
I’m up at 5am with a sick child after
working hard til 4
Or bathing in coffee to keep my eyes
open
Enough to see the lines on the road
Or finding a moment to enjoy on my
own
With a glass of wine and a good chune
I guess what I’m trying to say is…
FORGIVE ME
You
are not my everything!
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